Does Your Child Do This To You?

December 17, 2007 at 11:20 am

Malaika’s mummy tagged me couple of weeks ago, asking if I spare the rod when disciplining my girls.

I don’t own a cane at home and I try not to smack Zara. However, at times when she really pushes me to the limit, I will smack her on the buttocks; E.g. the time when she pinned Zaria to the ground when Zaria tried to reach for a toy she’s holding; or when she broke an item in the house even though I’d repeatedly told her not to touch it.

Most of the time, when she’s misbehaving, I’ll put her in the naughty corner, set the timer, and told her she can only get out when the timer alarm goes off. Sometimes, she will even go there on her own when she knows she’s done something wrong.

Last 2 days, she really drove me up the walls. Not so about her behaviour, but the way she talked back. When we told her off for some mischief she’s done, she said something like this, “Hush!” “I don’t want to talk about it, ok?”, then turned her head to face the opposite side.

Then yesterday, when she lifted her dress in a busy shopping mall, and later pulled down her dress so that her body was in full view of passer by, both Daddy and I told her, “Zara, that’s not a very nice thing to do in public ok? You are a girl, please don’t show people your underwear or your body like that.” She sulked big time, refusing to hold my hand when we walked to the car. Didn’t want to sit on her car seat on our journey home, folded her arms and faced the car door throughout.

I tried to coax her, by saying she’s our daughter, and we were only saying that so she knew right from wrong. She replied, “I’m not your daughter. Zaria is your daughter. I am kakak’s daughter.”

Daddy said she must be tired (she didn’t nap the whole day) and becoming irrational. I tried to coax her still, by offering my hand for her to hold, by saying, “Come on, lets give each other a hug”. I must be in one of my more ‘zen’ state, because when she scratched my hand twice, and then slapped my face, I didn’t smack her. I issued my last statement, “We are a family, so please don’t behave like that, ok?” She pointed at me, daring me, and she said these slowly, “You   and   I   are   not   family!”

That’s it. I walked away. Very very upset (actually I was really hurt!). That was when she cried and shouted, “I WANT MUMMY!” “MUMMY I’M SORRY!….WAAAAH” And tried to hug me and not let me go.

Daddy said I shouldn’t take it too personally, she’s only 3 year old, and she is just like me, when I’m tired, I like to use words to retaliate which I later regret.

Zara giving The Look

This is The Look she gives, when she talks back

Does your child do that to you? What would you have done if you were me? Should I invest in a cane now?

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