Temper Cancer

April 2, 2015 at 10:50 am

The little one has been extremely difficult, even though she gave us her promise, she still has tantrums and fit of anger triggered by the smallest thing.

Me: You know, you really should control your temper.
Zaria : I try to ma, but sometimes I cannot control it
Me: What you have is like a temper cancer you know. We try to help you but if it doesn’t work, we’ll have to send you to Monfort Boy School, they are like a hospital for all the temper cancer patient
Zaria : Then when can I come back?
Me: Until you are fully healed from temper cancer, and you can control your temper so you don’t get angry so easily
Zaria : But cancer cannot be cured right?
o.O”

Anyone has any suggestion on how to cure Temper Cancer?

We try to speak to her nicely, it doesn’t work.
Taking away privileges, it doesn’t work.
Punishing her, it doesn’t work.
We kept telling her we all love her, she knows it, and starts feeling sorry and sobs, but then it’s easily forgotten, and next day, the cycle repeats.
She’s only like this at home, at school, she’s always conceding, no teachers have ever complained about her except that she day dreams sometimes.

I just hope this is a phase she’s going through, and it’ll be over soon.

Growing Up – But Not Too Grown Up

April 8, 2014 at 3:51 pm

One day, they are not too grown up :
Zara : ma, can you read to me tonight like how you used to?
Me : ha..
(I’d stopped reading to her almost half a year now; the girl’s English is getting so good she’s teaching me new words and correcting my grammar and the books she’s reading is getting thicker than mine)
Zara : You know, I’m not too old for things like this.

Another day, they are :
Zaria fell from the dining chair.
Zaria : Ma, can you check, I think there’s something on my back.
Checked, and found her skin to be chafed.
Me : Poor baby, it must be very painful.
Zaria : I am not a baby! And it’s just a little painful. Ouch.
Me : You think a kiss will help? *about to plant a kiss on her back*
Zaria : *wriggled away* No. Tea Tree oil will help.
I caught her and kissed her anyway, and she giggled.

How To Stay Safe – From Children’s View

October 25, 2013 at 2:07 pm

The recent case of a 15 year old being murdered, has made me extremely worried about my girls. (What is this world coming to?)

I went on to share with the girls some of safety measure they could take to prevent themselves from being a victim. Just to make sure they understand it, their writing project yesterday was to write about How To Stay Safe.

One thing still missing from their list, that is to keep their parents informed wherever they go. I have to continue to drill that.

And mind their spelling, they don’t use spell check like us adults on the PC/phone/tablets.

(Zaria still have a very vague understanding of what rape is, but Zara knows what happen in a rape, and she said it’s too disgusting to write it down in her journal.)

Fist Fighting – By The Girls

October 1, 2013 at 11:23 pm

The girls although love each other and enjoy each other’s company very much, they are also always bickering over the smallest issues. Lately, they have even started fist fighting!

One day, it was because Zara drew a picture of Zaria kissing someone. *POW* Zaria gave Zara a punch, and then Zara punched back, and then the punching began, until I intervened. So as a punishment, they had to write 20 lines “I shall not fight (with my sister) anymore.” in Chinese.

As if they learnt.

Another day, Zara tickled Zaria when Zaria was doing a handstand on the sofa (which is forbidden); to retaliate, Zaria put her hand into Zara’s pants and started tickling Zara’s buttocks. Zara of course didn’t like it, and started beating Zaria, and Zaria fought back; it was PUNCH PUNCH BEAT BEAT until I intervened. Again, they have to write 20 lines “I shall not fight (with my sister) anymore.” in Chinese. Sigh.

Here are their comic strips capturing the ‘moment’.

o.O” (And they said I’m mean for punishing them!)

Do your kids fist fight with each other too?

My Mom Is Bossy – By The Girls

September 10, 2013 at 4:22 pm

The girls don’t have to go to school this week from Monday to Thursday because of UPSR, so I drew a schedule for them to follow. Basically for the whole day, I’d planned out that for 3.5hrs they need to do some worksheets and journal writing and for the rest of the time it is free and play time.

I had a clause that states if they played with Bubbles, our dog, during the time allocated for work, I’ll minus points for each offence, and if a total of 10 points were accumulated, I won’t bring them ice skating.

They were not happy when they first saw it.
Zara : 你的字那么的丑,我都不会读. (Your writing is so ugly, I can’t even read.)
(I sat them down and made them read through, and understand the clause)
Zaria : You are so bossy you know.
Zara : (annoyed) 遵守什么? 什么都要遵守, 不然就扣分!? Haiyoh! (Follow the rules, everything also must follow the rules, or else minus points.)

So for the day’s writing, they did a comic strip about me.

Zara’s.

Zaria’s.

Pros And Cons of Working From Home

August 10, 2013 at 5:18 pm

I started working from home partially when Zara was born, and when Zaria came along, I requested my then Australian manager if I could work from home fully, and he agreed. Although it’s now quite common for people to work from home, it was quite uncommon 8 years ago, and that’s how long I’d been doing it.

(Actually I don’t have a choice as I don’t have family or in-laws who can help me with child care, my option was to leave the girls with a helper at home or send them to a child care.)

So what are the pros and cons of working from home? It was one of the discussion topic brought up in a Facebook Group that I joined, and here are my thoughts.

Pros:
1. The kids are fully under my care, my supervision, their upbringing is done my way. (If they turned up rotten or outstanding, we will take the blame or the credit).
2. I get to experience their witty moment, mediate their fights, and not have to depend on someone to relay the information to me.
3. I can supervise the girls with their homework, what & when they watch (on) TV, what they eat, how they spend their time at home.
4. I get to witness their milestones.
5. The time spent getting stuck in the jam going to office and coming back, can be spent on the children, going for a run or sleeping longer.
6. I get to attend all their events in school, bring them to doctors/dentists without having to take leave.
7. I don’t need to spend much on clothes. (I sometimes wear PJs to work until noon time and then get showered and changed before picking up the kids)
8. I don’t have to rely on a transporter, and can send them to as many extra classes as long as I can afford the fee, and the time to chauffer them.
9. Have time to cook if I decided to, and can supervise the helper on what/how to cook.

Cons:
1. Get taken for granted at times. (Once, I asked the hubs to pick up the kids when he’s working from home, he replied, “It’s a working day for me you know?” WTF! It’s NOT a working day for me EVERYDAY when I pick the kids up.)
2. Socially, I don’t get much adult’s conversation, or mix around with adults except via FB, chat. This is the one of the things that affect me most. I sometimes feel I’m deprived of adults’ interactions.
3. The helper at home depends on me to decide what to cook for every damn meal!
4. The girls’ bickering or coming to you to ask for assistant in stringing a bead, solving a sum, cutting a shape can be very annoying when you are trying to focus on work.
5. Career advancement is more limited. I had to give up jobs opportunity which required travelling or working from the office. This also means salary wise, it hasn’t increased much since I started working from home (the company’s increment % is also partially to be blamed).
6. While lunch time for other working moms are a time to socialise, catch up, my lunch time is spent going to the school to fetch the children.
7. The girls are with me 24hrs every day (except when they are at school or attending classes), it can be stifling at times.
8. I don’t really have off days. Unlike moms who work in the office, when they take leave, it’s likely they can do their own things, because the child care/chauffering bit is taken care off per their daily arrangement. If I took leave, I still have to carry out my chauffer duty, unless I have the hubs take off to handle the kids while I have time for myself.

If I were to choose again, I’ll probably still choose working from home, just because at this point in time, the girls come first.

Taking Care of Your Parents and Talking About Death

June 10, 2013 at 5:35 pm

The hubs was clearing the extra room in the house planning for his father to come and live with us. We had this conversation in the household, which I captured as best I could.

Me : Daddy is clearing the room so that yehyeh can live with us.
After a moment of silence.
Zara : Why must he stay with us? If he stayed with us, then we have to share our money with him, we’ll be poorer.
(We always tell the children that we’re not rich so that we cannot fulfill all their wants for toys/knick-knacks, stay in the best hotels when we go on holidays, or even send them to private or international school. The latter 2 are real though. But I don’t know why this came to her mind the first thing.)
Me : Ah Kong (Chinese: Maternal grandfather) too stays with Karen yiyi right?
Zara :Karen yiyi is not as poor as us. Why must yeh yeh stay with us and not his other children?
Me :We have to take care of him since no one is taking care of him. Now I’m worried, next time when I’m old, what will you do to me?
Zara : You are my mom, it’s different.
Me : Yehyeh is daddy’s daddy too.
(Both girls thought a bit.)
Zara : When we go shopping and all, do we need to bring him?
Me : Yeah.
Zara : He’ll slow us all down. (FIL doesn’t walk so well)…
Me : I can go with you girls first to see what you want to see. (should have told them they slowed us down too when they were younger but we still brought them shopping etc)
Zara : He’s daddy’s responsibility so daddy will handle him.
…..
Zara (suddenly) : Who’s going to pay for his funeral?
Me : o.O” …….
Hubs : Daddy will ask everybody (his siblings) to pay.
Me : I wonder what will happen when it’s my turn. Wonder who’s going to pay for my coffin?
Zaria : You said you wanted to do that thing… burn your body right after you are dead?
Zara : Yeah. You said you wanted cremation. Why do you need to get a coffin when you will burn in later anyway?
Zaria : Yeah. Why do you need to cut trees to make the coffin?
Me : Then? I don’t even have a coffin to lay on? I’m just supposed to lie on my bed?
Zara : Yeah, then we’ll carry your body and put in you in the fire to burn.
Zaria : And I’ll pick 2 big bones later from the ashes to turn them into drum sticks.
o.O”

Putting Things Into Perspective

May 17, 2013 at 3:20 pm

The girls were making Teachers’ Day cards for their teachers.

Zara wrote on her card “Happy Teacher’s Day“ instead of “Happy Teachers’ Day” that I wrote for her.
Zaria wrote on her card, “Dear, Teacher, Belinda” instead of “Dear Teacher Belinda,”
Zara wanted to write “And” but instead wrote “Ad”

I got irritated. So I lectured them.
“Yada yada, so many mistakes on your cards… AND also you can spell wrongly… Don’t even know how to use punctuation… Can’t even plan your writing properly. Yada yada.”

Both girls corrected their mistakes by putting stickers over mistakes, drawing over wrong punctuation etc etc, while I was yakking away.

When Zara was done, she looked at me and told me calmly, “We are children. You are an adult. When children do things.. there’ll be some imperfection, it cannot be as perfect as an adult.”

o.O”

Then added, “Do you think if I did it so perfectly, teacher Casandra will think it’s my work or your work?”

o.O”

Ok. She’s putting things into perspective.

Insensitive Parents Spreading Germs

March 12, 2013 at 8:41 am

One insensitive and uncivilized parent, sent his/her very sick son (feverish + watery eye) to Chinese enrichment class for 7 years old, the same class that my 6 year old (I still call her six year old because she’s just turned 6 in Dec 28th 2012) goes to.

Maybe the parent didn’t want the son to loose out in that 1 lesson.
Maybe the parent didn’t want to ‘waste money’ paying for that 1 lesson that the son would miss.
Maybe the parent didn’t even know the son was sick to begin with.

Anyway, she/he sent the son to class, and at least infected 2 children in the class with the boy’s virus. One of them was Zaria, the other Zaria’s classmate who also goes to the same enrichment class.

Zaria had fever and conjunctivitis.

And because I looked after her the time when she was ill, I caught it too.

And because Zara slept in the same room as us, she too caught the germs!

Amount of medication

8 freaking trips to the clinic, 1 trip to the hospital, 2 blood tests done, 5 types of liver poison antibiotic prescribed (only 4 reluctantly consumed), numerous eye drops and cream, 1 IV antibiotic, anti-inflamation syrup/pill, and etc etc (which we didn’t bother to take);

Why? All because some stupid and insensitive parent decided his/her son could go for class and infect other children with his sickness!

It took Zara 6 days to stop the fever, me 5 days, and Zara 4 days.

I’d never been this ill for a long long time. The last time it was this bad, it was when I got a very bad case of UTI, and had to be hospitalised, and this happened before the girls were born!

Even Zara told me, “Going to school and doing homework is better than being so weak!”

Conjunctivitis

May the parent get cursed with the evil eyes too! At least he/she should have it for 2 weeks! That’s how long the germs his/her son passed to us stay with us!

If not, let him/her get some chili padi juice into his/her eyes accidentally for many times! (And if he/she didn’t eat chili, onion juice then!)

Gadgets and TV Free Childhood

January 23, 2013 at 10:41 pm

Like all children, the girls love to watch TV (we have no Astro, so they can only watch DVDs which we purchased for them), and also play games on the iPad.

Like a tiger mom, I only allow them to watch TV or have a 20~30min go on iPad when they have done what I’d assigned them to do for the day. It can be writing their journal or doing worksheets, depending. And if they have misbehaved, for example, fighting over who goes first on the iPad, then they’ll be grounded; and they will have to go without iPad or TV for a day/a week (depending on the severity of what they’d done).

On no gadgets and TV days, the girls will come out with all kinds of activities to keep themselves occupied; and of course having a sister each means they can still have a blast. Here are some moments of them doing things together on such days.

Reading a comic together.Girls reading a comic together

Playing word games. They try to create as many words as possible using only the letters of a word (elephant, for example)Girls playing word game

Climbing door frame. I was told, if a kid has done this, it means they have had an awesome child hood!Zara climbing door frame

Zaria climbing door frame

Pretending they were super heros, and designing their own super costumes and weapons.Girls designing superhero costumes

Building a tent in the room and campingGirls built tent in room

Playing limbo rock using a stick they found in the house.Girls doing limbo rock

At times, no games are required, they just chi-chat.Girls chichatting

Precious.

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