Taking Care of Your Parents and Talking About Death

June 10, 2013 at 5:35 pm

The hubs was clearing the extra room in the house planning for his father to come and live with us. We had this conversation in the household, which I captured as best I could.

Me : Daddy is clearing the room so that yehyeh can live with us.
After a moment of silence.
Zara : Why must he stay with us? If he stayed with us, then we have to share our money with him, we’ll be poorer.
(We always tell the children that we’re not rich so that we cannot fulfill all their wants for toys/knick-knacks, stay in the best hotels when we go on holidays, or even send them to private or international school. The latter 2 are real though. But I don’t know why this came to her mind the first thing.)
Me : Ah Kong (Chinese: Maternal grandfather) too stays with Karen yiyi right?
Zara :Karen yiyi is not as poor as us. Why must yeh yeh stay with us and not his other children?
Me :We have to take care of him since no one is taking care of him. Now I’m worried, next time when I’m old, what will you do to me?
Zara : You are my mom, it’s different.
Me : Yehyeh is daddy’s daddy too.
(Both girls thought a bit.)
Zara : When we go shopping and all, do we need to bring him?
Me : Yeah.
Zara : He’ll slow us all down. (FIL doesn’t walk so well)…
Me : I can go with you girls first to see what you want to see. (should have told them they slowed us down too when they were younger but we still brought them shopping etc)
Zara : He’s daddy’s responsibility so daddy will handle him.
Zara (suddenly) : Who’s going to pay for his funeral?
Me : o.O” …….
Hubs : Daddy will ask everybody (his siblings) to pay.
Me : I wonder what will happen when it’s my turn. Wonder who’s going to pay for my coffin?
Zaria : You said you wanted to do that thing… burn your body right after you are dead?
Zara : Yeah. You said you wanted cremation. Why do you need to get a coffin when you will burn in later anyway?
Zaria : Yeah. Why do you need to cut trees to make the coffin?
Me : Then? I don’t even have a coffin to lay on? I’m just supposed to lie on my bed?
Zara : Yeah, then we’ll carry your body and put in you in the fire to burn.
Zaria : And I’ll pick 2 big bones later from the ashes to turn them into drum sticks.

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