(Updated after some some exchange of messages with Michelle to prevent misunderstanding)

I’m no saint, and I do not pretend to be one. I always believe in the Chinese saying 慈母多败儿 (which translate more or less to “A mum who spoils the kids will end up with rotten kids”). Depending on the girls’ level of naughtiness, I use different types of method to discipline them.

Verbal warning/threats :
I guess this is the most common way of us disciplining our kids. From “You don’t get to go kai-kai.” to “I’ll send you to naughty school” (learnt from Mom2Ashley).

Zaria being very fond of me, most of the time will listen when I say, “You don’t listen you make mummy very upset.” and if this doesn’t work, I’ll warn her with, “I won’t sayang (Malay : showing physical affection) you if you naughty.” This will definitely do the trick. (Note : Sayang here is not the same as ‘love’, sayang is a hug or a kiss. I never tell the girls I’ll love them less if they don’t do certain things.)

As for Zara, I have been drilling into her how lucky she is to have mummy working from home, who can sooth her when she needs it, who can pick her up from school, who gives her hugs as and when she wants. So the most fearful threat for her is, “If you continue with this behaviour, I’ll go back to work in the office, then you won’t see mummy until late at night. And also you’ll have to take the school bus to school.”

Punishment :
I don’t own a cane but I do smack the kids or use my finger to ‘flick’ them in the below situation :
1) Repeatedly tell them not to touch something (maybe because it’s fragile or dangerous), but they still do it and end up breaking that item or causing hurt to someone – they’ll get a smack or a flick on the palm
2) Spiting saliva at another person – they’ll get a flick on the cheek.
3) Purposely causing a lot of pain to the sibling (e.g. scratching the other until it bleeds or pulling a clump of hair from the sibling’s scalp) – they’ll get a smack on the buttocks.

Naughty corner :
This is the most common form of punishment the girls get. Sometimes when Zara pushed Zaria because she wanted to snatch something from Zaria, she’ll come up to me and make a confession, and come out with her own punishment, “I pushed mei-mei just now, so I stand in the naughty corner for 5 mins, ok?”

On days when they really drive me up the walls by being extremely naughty, e.g. fighting and to retaliate breaking each other’s things, I’ll issue the capital punishment. Cheng Cheng Cheng.. and it’s….
.
.
.
.
.
“No reading tonight! Both of you go straight to bed after you brush your teeth!!” (they love reading so much, they get really upset when there’s no bed time reading).

How do you discipline your kids? Do you believe in smacking?

Since Zaira could tell us she wanted (depending on her mood) to poo beginning of this year we slowly introduced her to using the toilet bowl to pee as well.

We started by placing her on the toilet bowl in the morning and before bed time at night, and then slowly got her to use the toilet before her baths too. She then began to inform us she wanted to “she-she” whenever she felt like it.

3 weeks ago, we took off her diaper during the day. And told her repeatedly, “Must tell mummy or aunty when you want to she-she or poo-poo yah?”. In the night, we left her diaper on. Since then, there were 3 incidents where she poo-ed in her panties; 1 incident where she got too busy playing and forgot to inform us so she wet herself. Besides these incidents, she remains dry, even in the night!

The past week, every time she needed to use the toilet be it to pee or poo, she informed us, sometimes even going to the toilet first to get herself ready while shouting for help, “I want to she-she” or “My poo-poo coming out already.”

Although she has her diaper on when we go out, she will inform us if she needed to go to the toilet. Unlike Zara, she can actually pee while being carried, so she didn’t have to sit on dirty toilet bowls. Once, she’s fallen asleep after our night out, when I changed her to her pajamas, in her sleep, I asked her if she wanted to she-she, and she nodded her head sleepily. I carried her to the toilet bowl, and she did her pee with eyes closed and her head resting on my shoulder. o.O

Sometimes I ask her, “Mei mei can she-she or poo poo on the floor or not?” She replies, “No… Zah-yah not a dog. Zah-yah she-she/poo-poo toilet boh (bowl) only.” 😛

This is her 22 month’s mile stone! But I’ll still let her wear the diaper in the night and when we go out, just in case.

Note : Anybody interested to buy Drypers Drypants (M) and (L) size from me? I’ll give you a good discount. RM25 for 44pieces M, 36pieces L. There are some which are in loose pieces, but all wrapped up nicely. Drop me a mail. Mamipoko too if you are interested.

I’m sure those parents who have daughters (and probably some sons), will experience the same thing; their girls going for heels, or shoes that sparkle. For my girls, it’s the same, even better if the shoes make the clickety clack sound when walking around with them on.

The ones that the girls have is this pair a neighbour gave us, and they call it click clock shoes (in Zaria’s case it’s tick-tock shoes, since she can’t pronounce the ‘cl’ sound).

Both of them like this pair of shoes. And when one of them (remembers to) wear them, the other will (be reminded and) also says she wants it, sometimes ending in a fight or tug of war with the loser crying (most of the time Zaria looses because she’s not as strong as Zara yet). So we taught them to share, and sometimes they agree to.

One wears the left side

The other wears the right side

That’s how far they will go sharing this pair of click clock shoes.

o.O”

Zara used to be a wailer, you know the crying-for-1hr-like-a-banshee kind? The no-matter-what-you-do-will-not-calm-her-down-once-it’s-started kind?

She was at her worst when she was around 18months~30months old. Not that it was’t bad when she was younger, but that time I thought she was still a baby (and a high need one) and I could tolerate it better. This so stressed me out.

When she started her wailing;
I used to hug her, didn’t work.
Talked to her and tried calming her, didn’t work.
Put her in the naughty corner, didn’t work.
Once, when she was standing right in front of the study screaming her head off (while I was working), I got so angry, I lifted her like a sack of potato, brought her to the room, placed her on my lap gave her 2 big smack on her buttocks. It didn’t stop her crying but instead made her cry even louder, and made me feel extremely guilty and lousy.

Daddy kept telling me it’s her state of mind, and nothing we did would stop it, so we should just let her cry it out.

Eventually, I took the approach. I just told Zara I won’t hold her or hug her until she stops. She can wail or shout or scream, I won’t touch her. “If you are upset, or angry, crying is ok, but you have to control yourself and not cry and shout like you are crazy. Mummy will hug you when you calm down.”

I’m not sure if this helped, or she is just growing up and went passed that phase. Nowadays, when she cries, it will be only for a short while. Sometimes, the crying is replaced with a sob, and she’ll come over and say, “Mummy, I can control myself already.” occasionally adding, “Because now I’m 4 years old.”

I have been telling her, I’m really very proud of her. I really am.

We still co-sleep, the 4 of us. Daddy, Zaria and myself on our queen bed, and Zara on a single bed which is parked next to my side of the bed.

It started with either Daddy or myself had to stay with the girls, and only after both of them fall asleep could we leave the room. I always fell asleep before they do.

Later, after Zaria had fallen asleep, I would tell Zara I had to shower, or I had to shut down my computer, so that I could leave her bedside. Most of the time, she would be asleep when I finished showering or blog hopping shutting down my computer.

When she started being able to reach for the door knob and could get in and out of the room on her own, she began to allow me work in the study while she slept; knowing she could see me from the bed room (our room has a window which can look into our study) and able to get out of our room to come to the study if she needed me.

So we only had to wait for Zaria to fall asleep before we could leave the room to do our own things.

Yesterday, at bed time, I told Zaria I would leave her to sleep with jie-jie, while I get some work done.
Zaria : “No! Mummy lie down (with) you (me).”
Me : “Mummy still got work to do. Jie jie sleep with you ok?”
Zaria : “No. Mummy lie down here.” *patted her side*
Me : “Jie-jie will sleep with you and take care of you.”
Zara : “Jie-jie will take care of you, don’t worry.

While Zaria was still protesting (more like complained), I sneaked out, and the 2 of them kept each other company. When I went back in to check on them 30mins later, both were soundly asleep.

YEEEEEEEEEEEESSSS!!! Hope this will be another mile stone.

♥Zara has to sleep with her children (that’s what she calls them) : Fifi, Mr Blue, Mr Blue’s twins, Lamb, Toffee the bear (from Simple American) every night.♥ (photo taken early Jul)

♥Zaria on the other hand doesn’t need anything to hug, but lately, she insisted that I lay the ‘sarong’ for her to sleep on♥ (photo taken early Jul)

We always think that Zara is advance with her speech development, but come to her penmanship, we were getting a bit worried.

She could write numbers, but not alphabets. I thought her to remember my mobile number (just in case she need to use that info one day) by singing my number to her, “ZERO ONE doot, doot dooot doooot, doot dooot doot dooot (*censored*) mummy’s telephone.” to the tune of Twinkle-twinkle Little Star repeatedly.

She could recite/sing out the number quite a while back and a month ago started writing them on papers. Woooooot!

During the 1 week school holidays, I got her to start practicing to write the letters A, R, Z. Although she can recognise the letters, she had difficulty remembering how to write them.

To make her remember the stroke of the letters, I have to say,
A is like a tippee
R is like half a lollypop which is wearing a skirt (P = half a lollypop; that strokes -> |\ is a skirt); if the skirt is too tight, the lollypop will not be able to walk, if the skirt is too wide, the lollypop is making a split.
and
Z is a lightning, or a zig zag.

It may not make sense to others, but she use that info and started practicing, and on the 2nd day, she managed to write her own name. Wooooooot!!

And then we also started seeing her putting more details in her drawing. Woooooooot!

This is one of her work. Our family with her ‘signature’. I guess you can kind of make out who is who.

We were in Sunway Pyramid over the weekend, and saw this road show that some company was running; as there’s a Bouncy Castle set up, I brought the girls over to have a look.

As the girls jumped in the Bouncy Castle, I went to check out the goods the company was selling.

Have you heard of Kawai Kanyu Drops? This road show was run by them.

This is a Cod Liver Oil supplement founded way back before WW2, and ever since 1932, children in Japan are required to take a Kawai vitamin every day (in schools). Still manufactured in Japan, what I like about it is the little ‘gummy drop’ like pill, not just the look, but the taste as well.

I got the girls to try since they were giving out samples, and both thought they were given sweets.

Seeing that they like it so much, and it was going for RM55 (regular ~RM68) I bought 4 tins, 2 for myself, 2 for the girls. Each tin contains more than 180pills.

Since then, the girls were each given 1 Kawai Kanyu Drop to start their day, and they eagerly open their mouth when I give it to them. Sometimes asking for more (but no, I don’t give in).

I have to give it to the Japanese who can make supplement taste this good; even the packaging is so appealing.

♥Zara♥

She wanted to wear a dress (a hand me down) from Karen, Eve‘s daugther, which she loves.
I asked her to wear her Zara dress instead, telling her, “See, this one is nicer, some more if you check the label, it says ZARA. Same as your name.”
Her reply, “This one (her earlier choice) is also nice wut. The label says KAREN.”
o.O

Over heard her talking to Fifi.
Fifi, you must start sleeping on your own already you know or not? I cannot sleep with you always. When I’m bigger girl, I’m giong to sleep with my boy friend, you have to sleep in your own room already.
o.O

She told me we have to go to Ikea, I asked her why.
“We must bring Fifi back to see her parents in Ikea. They didn’t see her for so long already, they miss her you know?
(Fifi is her favourite soft toy which we bought from Ikea)
o.O

~~~~~~~~~~~~ . ~~~~~~~~~~~~

♥Zaria♥

Zaria was bring naughty over dinner, so I scolded her.
Zaria :Mummy hug hug.
Me : No. You yai-yai (Cantonese : Naughty), Mummy don’t want to hug.
Zaria :Want mummy hug now.
Me : No. You eat your dinner properfly first.
She fussed and struggled, got down from her high chair, climbed up my chair, forced herself onto my lap, buried her face on my shoulder, then declared victoriously, :“Haha, mummy hug hug oh-di (already)”
o.O

My program manager is a Taiwanese, and our test manager is a Mainland Chinese. I speak a lot to them over the phone in Mandarin.
On Saturday, while trying to get the girls to nap, I took a Chinese book in the attempt to bore them to sleep and read aloud.
Zara stopped me midway and said, “Mummy, you sound like you are having a meeting right?”
😛

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ . ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Zaria just did a poop and since was about to take her bath, we left her diaperless, just in her pajamas pants.
She was playing in the living room on her own, and then shouted to Jelly, “Auntie! Chu-chu (Chinese : peed) oh-di (already).”
Jelly being the slow self, took a while before she came out to check on Zaria.
Jelly said when she came out to the living room, Zaria was already holding some tissue (pulled from the nearby tissue box) and was trying to wipe away the puddle on the floor.
😛

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ . ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Zara was trying to tell me something about trying Japanese something, while we were going for a walk, and she was in the pram.
Me : Can you speak louder I can’t hear you.
Zara : mumble mumble…try Japanese ….
Me : What about Japanese, I can’t hear you.
Zara : *loudly*Haiya!*whisper*mumble mumble…TRY JAPANESE!
Me : Zara, when you talk to mummy, please turn your head to look at me. I can’t hear what you are saying
Zara : Aigh! Never mind la.. since you cannot hear me, I also don’t want to talk already
o.O”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ . ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’d been telling Zara about aging.
Zara : Mummy, I don’t want you to grow old. I want you to be like Ah Kim. Alicia jiejie and Sam jiejie big girl already Ah Kim still not old yet.
(Ah Kim has kids when she was younger, I had mine when I was older..and Ah Kim has La Mer cream to keep her young.. how to compare)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ . ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I asked Zara if she liked her Alice In Wonderland DVD.
Zara : I like it a little bit only
Me : But you’d been watching it so often. Why don’t you like it.
Zara : Because, Alice is only a normal girl. She’s not a princess.
Sorry Alice!

Zaria is showing behaviour that we’d never seen in Zara. The I-don’t-care-you-better-give-me-what-I-want-or-I’ll-cry behaviour.

Don’t let this angel looking face fool you

When she wants something, and doesn’t get it, she wails, as though she has fallen down or hurt herself.
Sometimes going on all fours, but now being more clever, she’ll just slap her hands on the floor, but not her head.

She immediately switches to a smile the minute what she wanted was given to her. These days, we’ll just distract her with something else or ignore her cry until she stops.

2 days ago, when I was reading to Zara, she moved her buttocks to my lap and tried to push Zara away. Zara was very patient, she just moved aside while I handled Zaria.
Me : Zaria, mummy reading to jiejie. You go and play with your toys.
Zaria : EHHH! Boo-book. (she put her book on top of Zara’s).
Me : Mummy already read so many books to you, now jiejie’s turn (I took her book away and asked Zara to sit back on my lap)
Zaria : Ehh!!! (she slapped Zara’s book)
Me : You sit on mummy’s lap, we read together then.
Zaria : Ehh! (she tore Zara’s book)
Very quickly, I lifted her up, and told her, “Cannot tear book book! You yai-yai (Chinese : naughty). Mummy read to jiejie why you tear jie-jie’s book book? You go to naughty corner then.” Then I put her in her cot and walked back to Zara.

She cried and wailed and screamed. And I just finished reading to Zara, ignoring her. Zara kept throwing glances at Zaria, but didn’t say anything. 3 minutes later, when I’d finished reading to Zara, I picked Zaria up. Immediately, Zaria smiled. *roll eyes*

Me : What happened just now?.
Zaria : Yai yai! (referring to herself) Beat!
Me : No, mummy didn’t beat you. Mummy put you in naughty corner. Why? Because you tear jiejie’s book
Zaria : (she pointed to her cot) (cor)Ner!
Me : Next time cannot tear Jiejie’s book ok?
Zaria : Ten-not (Cannot)
Me : Promise? (I reached out my hand)
Zaria : (she beat it with hers, our way of ‘promising’) (pro)Miss
Now it was Zara’s turn to speak, Say sorry to jiejie.
Zaria : Soyee
To me : Mummy, say sorry to Zaria (for making her cry)
Me : Sorry meimei

Following day, I asked Zaria.
Me : Meimei, remember what happened yesterday?
Zaria : (remem)Ber
Me : You tore jiejie’s book, what did mummy do?
Zaria : (Naughty Cor)Ner! (ha, she remembered!)
Me : Where is your naughty corner
Zaria : Cot. (clever)
Me : Can tear book book or not?
Zaria : Ten-not (Cannot). (pro)Miss (she slapped her hand on mine)

Good, looks like she learnt her lesson. 😛