(Updated after some some exchange of messages with Michelle to prevent misunderstanding)

I’m no saint, and I do not pretend to be one. I always believe in the Chinese saying 慈母多败儿 (which translate more or less to “A mum who spoils the kids will end up with rotten kids”). Depending on the girls’ level of naughtiness, I use different types of method to discipline them.

Verbal warning/threats :
I guess this is the most common way of us disciplining our kids. From “You don’t get to go kai-kai.” to “I’ll send you to naughty school” (learnt from Mom2Ashley).

Zaria being very fond of me, most of the time will listen when I say, “You don’t listen you make mummy very upset.” and if this doesn’t work, I’ll warn her with, “I won’t sayang (Malay : showing physical affection) you if you naughty.” This will definitely do the trick. (Note : Sayang here is not the same as ‘love’, sayang is a hug or a kiss. I never tell the girls I’ll love them less if they don’t do certain things.)

As for Zara, I have been drilling into her how lucky she is to have mummy working from home, who can sooth her when she needs it, who can pick her up from school, who gives her hugs as and when she wants. So the most fearful threat for her is, “If you continue with this behaviour, I’ll go back to work in the office, then you won’t see mummy until late at night. And also you’ll have to take the school bus to school.”

Punishment :
I don’t own a cane but I do smack the kids or use my finger to ‘flick’ them in the below situation :
1) Repeatedly tell them not to touch something (maybe because it’s fragile or dangerous), but they still do it and end up breaking that item or causing hurt to someone – they’ll get a smack or a flick on the palm
2) Spiting saliva at another person – they’ll get a flick on the cheek.
3) Purposely causing a lot of pain to the sibling (e.g. scratching the other until it bleeds or pulling a clump of hair from the sibling’s scalp) – they’ll get a smack on the buttocks.

Naughty corner :
This is the most common form of punishment the girls get. Sometimes when Zara pushed Zaria because she wanted to snatch something from Zaria, she’ll come up to me and make a confession, and come out with her own punishment, “I pushed mei-mei just now, so I stand in the naughty corner for 5 mins, ok?”

On days when they really drive me up the walls by being extremely naughty, e.g. fighting and to retaliate breaking each other’s things, I’ll issue the capital punishment. Cheng Cheng Cheng.. and it’s….
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“No reading tonight! Both of you go straight to bed after you brush your teeth!!” (they love reading so much, they get really upset when there’s no bed time reading).

How do you discipline your kids? Do you believe in smacking?