Zaria has started Std 1, and attended 3 days of school last week. Is she enjoying school? I don’t think so.

As I was getting them to bed just now (Sunday night), we had this conversation. Lucky for me, Zara can help to reason with Zaria most of the time.

Zaria : I don’t like Chen Lao-she (Chinese : Teacher Chen).
Me : It’s school Zaria. I can’t change the teachers in school. For your swimming class or music class, I can change. But I cannot change your teachers in school.
Zaria : But I don’t like her.
Me : Give her a chance.
Zaria : What? I’d given her 3 chances wut. (i.e. 3 days of school)
Me : If you really don’t like her, maybe you should talk to the headmaster.
Zaria : I don’t know how to speak in Chinese.
Me : The headmaster understand English.
Zaria : ….

(after a while)
Zaria : I don’t want to go to school. Why do I need to go to school.
Zara : The spam (Zaria has a protruding forehead and we said it’s her spam) on your head is filled with ideas and thoughts.
Me : And knowledge
Zara : If you don’t go to school, your SPAM will be empty.
Zaria : Then why should I go to Chinese school? You should send me to English school
Zara : Mummy cannot afford it.
Zaria : Then work work work work work.
Me : You will go and work?
Zaria : No.. you.
Zara : If mummy worked like this, she won’t have time to play with you. Or bring you to the park. No one will read to you at night.
Zaria : Then daddy bring me..
Zara : Daddy too have to work and work to send you to English school.
Zaria : Then Auntie Minerva plays with me.
Zara : Auntie Minerva will be too busy cooking.
Zaria : Then you don’t send me to school
Zara : Let me tell you something. (getting serious) You know, the government wants everybody to go to school. If you don’t go to school you know what will happen?
Zaria : What?
Zara : Mummy and Daddy will go to jail. So, do you want your parents to get locked up in jail, or do you want to go to school?
Zaria : I thought I’ll go to jail.
Zara : No.. You parents. Not you.
Zaria : Then.. ask the lawyer to help. o.O” (thanks to Kidzania, she vaguely knows what a lawyer is)
Me : Ask the lawyer to help with what?
Zaria : Ask the lawyer to protect us.
Me : *laugh*I don’t think the lawyer can help us.
Zaria : Is the lawyer more powerful or the government?
Me : The government.
Zaria : *frustrated* Why is the government so bossy?

…………..

After her school orientation, she told me this, “I’m still Chinese deaf you know, because I don’t know what the teacher is saying “

2nd day of of school she refused to get dressed, telling us, “Why do I need to go to school when all I get to do is SIT??!!”

It’s going to be a long 2013.

I love Zara wholeheartedly. And when I was pregnant with Zaria, my biggest fear was not being able to love her as much as I love Zara, and that I would not have enough love to split between the 2.

How wrong was I. The capacity to love in a parent grows with every child born! And who would not love Zaria? The joker, the chatter box, the stunt woman, the chili padi?

Look at her, a couple of days old and she’s already trying to be funny.

And barely 2, she’s climbing up and down the toilet bowl to use the toilet on her own (and making us worry she might fall).

That’s Zaria! The one who brought us much laughter, much entertainment, and many surprises! It’s never a bore with her around.

Happy 6th Birthday Zaria. We all love you very much, thanks for adding so much fun and laughter to our lives.

(continue from here)

When we stopped over in Ipoh for breakfast, we told the girls Ipoh is famous for beautiful girls.
Zaria asked, “Where can we see them? Can you bring us to see them?” (like they are some zoo animals)
We ate in this coffee shop, and it was mainly operated by elderly people.
I overheard Zara told Zaria, “Ipoh girls all old ladies only wut.”

When in Penang, there are 2 eateries that we’ll never miss. Nonya Breeze, and Jalan Siam Char Kuey Teow.
After an extremely satisfying dinner at the Jalan Siam Char Kuey Teow stall, seeing that the stall owners (father and son team) were less busy as it was the end of business day, both Daddy and myself went up to them and chatted a bit as well as praised them.
“Your char kuey teow is the best!” We told them.
When we went back the following day for another plate of char kuey teow, it wasn’t as satisfying, as I think the uncle put too much chilli in ours. And the girls too thought their plate of chilli-free kuey teow wasn’t as good as the night before.

We went to Nonya Breeze twice as well this round. Once for dinner, and once for lunch. It was good both times. We had this conversation in the car.
Daddy : We should have just eaten the char kuey teow once. Too much of a good thing is not good
Me : No not true, we ate Nonya Breeze twice and both were equally good.
Daddy : Hmm, yeah, why huh?
Zara : That’s because the char kuey teow man is a show off
Me : Huh?
Zara : Ya. You went and said his char kuey teow was good right the 1st time? So he became arrogant. That’s why 2nd time not so good already. Nonya Breeze you didn’t tell them their food was good, so they just continue to do what they do.
o.O”
(She believes that I shouldn’t praise her too, or she’ll be too proud. So everytime when I say played a piano piece well, or her drawing is nice, she’ll put her index finger on her lips and said, “sssssh..”)

On our way back from Penang, I told the girls, “So girls, we’d spent all our money in Penang. I guess we don’t have money for other holidays anymore.”
Zara replied, “You don’t lie to me. You only spend your Penang money. You still have Hong Kong money, Singapore money and other money you haven’t spent yet.”
I went, “Huh?”
Zara said, “Ya, you only spent your Penang dollar. Your Singapore dollar and Hong Kong dollar you didn’t use wutt. You don’t try to lie to me, ok.”
o.O”
Have to work on her money concept, this one.

I took off a couple of days last week, so that we can spend the girls’ school holidays together, and also go on our yearly trip to Penang.

Here are some conversations worthy to mention on our trip.

It was a wet day when we travelled to Penang. When we passed by the limestone hills in Ipoh, the girls saw the fluff of clouds floating around the hills. Zaria said, “Look, God’s spirit is everywhere.” o.O”

We talked about sleeping arrangement in the car. As Zaria has been really naughty the past few days, I told her, “I think I’ll sleep with jiejie, and Zaria can sleep with Daddy.”
She replied, “If I sleep with daddy, I’ll kungfu his kukujiao (Chinese : penis)” o.O”

We stayed in Traders Hotel in Penang. Every time when we turned on the TV, the Shangrila Hotel channel will come out first, showing the various Shangrila Hotels and Resorts world wide.
I commented one day, “These places are soooo nice, I wish I could go to these hotels to stay. Too bad your Daddy is not rich.”
Zara replied, “It’s not that he’s not rich. He’s cheap.” o.O”
Oh my, wonder what gave her that idea, but we had a good laugh hearing her reply.

Zaria told me later that when she’s older, she’ll bring me for holidays, and stay in those hotels. She said “I’ll bring you to Paris, and Italy.”
While swimming at the hotel pool, I asked Zaria to remove her float and tried to swim without (since she’s been attending swimming class for a month now).
She refused even after lots of persuation.
So I told her, “Next time when mummy is old, and you bring me for holidays, what if I fall into the sea, and you don’t know how to swim, then who’s going to save me?”
Zaria replied, “We are going to Paris. There’s no sea right?”
I told her in Paris there’s River Seine, a big river.
She then asked, “What about Italy? Is there river?”
I told her Italy is surrounded by the sea.
She thought for a while longer. “I think you go to Italy and Paris with jiejie (because Zara knows how to swim) then. I bring you to Ipoh.” o.O”

Kiasi (traditional Chinese: 驚死, 惊死, kiaⁿ-sí) is a Hokkien phrase, literally means afraid of death, to describe the attitude of being overly afraid or timid.

Since she was very young, Zara has already shown sign she’s very kiasi.
She’s afraid of the dark.
She’ll try to eat healthy so that she’ll not fall ill.

When she was 3+, she sometime had nightmare which woke her up in the middle of the night. Her nightly prayer during that time would include a line like “Jesus, please don’t let me have nightmare.” and she would ask me everynight, “Mum, will I have nightmare?”

She’s never been on a nebuliser, but had seen kids using it. When she’s not well, she will eat her medicine on a timely basis even though it’s extremely yucky. She will not touch cold drinks when she’s having the flu/cold/cough because I’d told her if she didn’t take care when she’s not well, she might need to use the nebuliser.

When she learnt about Hand Foot And Mouth Disease and H1N1 in school, she started checking her body frequently, and when there were ‘suspicious’ spots, she would ask worriedly, “Do I have Hand Foot and Mouth Disease.”; and when a stubborn cough or flu continued for a few days longer, she would ask, “Do I have H1N1?”

Early this year, she started having frequent nose bleed. A couple of times, it bled in the middle of the night, making everybody worry. I initially taught it was caused by extreme ‘heatiness’, so I told her to watch what she eats, and drinks more water.
Her prayer became “Jesus, please don’t let me have nosebleed.” and she would ask me everynight, “Mum, will I have nosebleed?”
She stopped having chocolate and deep fried food although those were her favourite (Even if you tempt her and placed them in front of her, she’ll just say, “No! After I’ll get nosebleed.”)
We eventually found out the reason for her nosebleed. She has extremely sensitive nose. No nose picking and no nose spray (anto-congestion nor salt-water spray) and that fixed the problem.
She’s back on her favourite food now.

She eats most vegetable although she may not like them just because they will make her healthy.
She makes sure her hands are clean before picking up anything to eat.

Recently, I started making homemade ice cream and told her that most ice cream sold had some sort of chemical or preservatives to make them last longer, so best for her to just stick to my ice cream. I shared with her as well some ice cream use artificial sweetener which may cause cancer.
So now her favourite question is, “Will I get cancer.” when she touches something which I told her might contain artificial flavouring or sweetener. o.O”

At 4+, Zaria is still gullible enough to believe the lies I told things I said.

When I told her I was giong out with Aunty Dinah (Jazzmint‘s farewell), and kids were not allowed.
Zaria asked, “Why? They serve only beer in the restaurant? They serve only sambal?”
I lied answered and said Yes to those questions, and she said, “Oh, then I better don’t go too.”
Phew.

I bought 2 tickets to Jacky Cheung’s concert (Yippie), and I was planning to bring Zara with me (or maybe just go with Daddy).
Zaria cried when I told her I only bought tickets for Zara and myself.
I lied told her there was a height limit, and because she’s below 120cm, they wouldn’t sell me the ticket; also taking the opportunity to tell her she has to eat well to grow taller.
Zaria told me after she stopped crying, “I have an idea, you can buy me high heel shoes. And when I wear the high heel shoes to the concert, I’ll be tall enough.” o.O”
I told her that the tickets have been sold off (which is the truth), and no way I could get another ticket.

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My girls have better sense than some racist goons out there.
I asked Zaria one day, “Mei Mei, do you know what race you are?”
Zaria replied, “I’m human race.”
(Best ever reply!)
When Zara got back home, I asked her the same question.
Zara replied, “You mean my culture?”

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Zaria came back from school one day and told me, “Mummy, Aidan scratched my eye with his shoe. Can you report to the police?”
I told her ok, I’ll call the police later.
After 1 minute, she came back and told me, “I think better you don’t call the police, you tell his mummy, so that his mummy will beat his bumbum.”
(at least she has some compasion)

Zaria saw one of her stickers on Zara’s book.
Zaria : Maa, jiejie took my sticker without permission.
Me : So what should we do about that?
Zaria : Send (give) her to another family.
Me : Do you really want to do that?
Zaria : Actually I do not want to do that, but the only way to teach her is to punish her. o.O”

One day Zaria refused to do her Chinese reading, and I had to push and push her. She then declared, “I wish I have no mommy!”
The following day when I picked her and her carpool friend from school, she told her car pool friend “You know, if your mommy is fierce it’s actualy good. It’s to teach you good things you know.” o.O”

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Zaria saw the neighbour went topless watering his plant.
Zaria : “Eeeeyer Mum, why is Uncle P not wearing his clothes?”
Me : “He’s hot I think… If mommy is hot can mommy take off my clothes?”
Zaria : “Eeeyer.. no mum, because you are a big breasted lady.” o.O”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ . ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On another day.
Zaria : Mom, you should put a Y in my name. Now it’s Za-ri-AH. If you put a Y, then only it becomes Za-ri-YAH.
Me : So how should your name be spelled?
Zaria : You should spell my name as Z-A-R-I-Y-A. o.O”

The Little One is very into drawing lately although we did not start her on any arts classes.

In the beginning, she liked copying what Zara drew. E.g. Zara drew this.

She drew this (even the font for her name, she’s trying to copy Zara).

And guess what movie they were drawing about?
TANGLED.

Then she stopped copying, and started creating her own. Some following movies she’s watched, like these :

Some following famous characters.

(See if you can make out what she’s drawing, answer is at the end of the post)

Sometimes she just drew whatever that came to the mind.

Or inspired by what she was doing (taking photos, plucking flowers, and wearing the dress that she wore in the photos above).

I was praising her and then I called her Little Van Gogh one day. And since we told her briefly in Singapore who’s Van Gogh and what is he famous for, she replied very quickly, “Don’t call me Van Gogh, after I’ll cut my ear suddenly.” o.O”

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Of all the subjects in school, Zara scored the worse for Arts (She got As for all subjects, but B for arts). Hmm.., I think her drawings are quite original, I would have given her higher score myself. Then again I’m her mother, so I may be buyous.

These are the 2 that she did recently and passed up for arts class.

Topic was to desgn and decorate their names.

Topic was to draw something from or with Angry Bird.

Not too bad right?

And answers to Zaria’s drawing : Monster Inc.; Power Puff Girls; Angry Birds (a bit abstract though).

Zara and Daddy falling asleep in the LRT

Here is a typical conversation you can hear when I’m doing revision with Zara.
“Are you paying attention or not Zara? Did you see what was the question?!”
“Can you write properly, they are different words, make sure there’s space, when it’s one word make sure the letters are together!”

Here is a typical conversation you can hear when Daddy is doing revision with Zara.
“Dad, don’t even say the ‘R’ word ok? I don’t want to hear it.”
“Dad, I’d done this so many times, did you pay attention to what revision you did last time or not?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ . ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I ‘play’ with the girls, normally we do building blocks, cooking (I’m always the customer so I can just sit there with my book while the girls served me), or beading together.

When Daddy ‘plays’ with the girls, he’ll be the horse they ride on, he’ll be dancing ballet with them (imagine 6feet tall and tippy toe-ing with his girls), or he’ll run after them when they cycle.

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When I’m the one tucking in the girls, if we started reading at 10:15pm, I’ll rush through the book, and by 10:30pm, lights out, girls sleep.

When Daddy is the one tucking in the girls, at 11pm when I peeped in, he’ll still be reading.
I tell him, “Hello, lights out by 10:30pm. They have to go to school tomorrow ok?”
He’ll reply, “But they are enjoying the book.”
o.O”

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And this happen one day during breakfast.
Daddy having bread and jam and a cup of tea. He left his tea bag from his cup of tea on his plate.
When he wasn’t looking, Zara tore open the tea bag, sprinkled the wet tea dust on Daddy’s bread.
When Daddy bit into his bread, he spat everything out, and shouted for me to see what Zara did.
He then laughed and said, “You tricked me yeah?!!”
Then Zara, Zaria and him had a good laugh.
Imagine, if she did that on my bread….what’s going to happen?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ . ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So besides not knowing what time the girls have to go to bed, what time their school starts or ends, what activities happen on what day, what medicine they should be eating (if they fell ill), whose cup is whose, or whose toothbrush is whose, and besides occasionally being his girls’ Knight in Shining Armour;

Daddy is more fun and Mummy is uptight.

(You’ll probably be able to relate to this more if you know Chinese)

After more than 4 months in a Chinese school, how is Zara doing in her Chinese? I would say she’s doing well, but her Chinese is probably at the level of a 5year old native speaker. I’ll quote some examples later.

What language do they speak in school? She told me when she’s in her class, she and her friends speak in Mandarin; but once outside the class, they will start conversing in English. Her school has many English speaking kids, so this is good, as she still gets to speak English while improving her Chinese. However, the down side is, she started mixing 2 languages in her speech, unconciously.

She told the teacher, an Indian, from the maths centre, “Teacher, I got 一百分for my maths in school.” She repeated a few times and couldn’t comprehends why the teacher didn’t understand her, not knowing she said, 一百分 instead of one hundred.

So to make her concious of only speaking 1 language at a time, I implemented a system for her and her (carpool) friend, James, in the car. Each day, they are to speak only 1 language, either English or Chinese, fully, on our journey home. On an English day, should they or even myself accidentally use any Chinese words, we’ll have to pay a RM0.10 fine, and vice versa.

Initially, we collected a lot of fines, but after a while, I saw them making a concious effort to speak only 1 language. This helps to improve their Chinese proficiency too, because on Chinese day, they’ll try very hard to find the word they need to describe something.

Here are some “Chinese Day” conversation taken on our journey home.

Zara : 今天，有个男孩子…err.. muak muak 我的朋友Ohana. [Today, there’s a boy who muak muak my friend Ohana] (obviously she doesn’t know how to say kiss in Chinese)
Me : 今天, 有个男孩子吻我的朋友 [Today, there’s a boy who kissed my friend] (corrected her)
Zara : (repeated) 吻我的朋友 [Kissed my friend]
Me : Ohana是马来人吗?[Is Ohana a Malay?]
Zara : 不是, 她是中文. [No, she’s Chinese language] o.O” (She’s supposed to say 华人or中国人the words for Chinese people)

She was playing this hand game with James.
Zara : 公鸡, 母鸡, 小鸡, kay-poh-jee [rooster, hen, chick, kay poh jee]
Me : kay-poh-jee 不是中文来的，kay-poh-jee中文是八卦 [kay poh jee (nosy) is not Mandarin, kay poh jee in Mandarin is 八卦]
James : 啊我知道, Bak-gua [Oh, I know, Bak-gua (BBQ pork slices in Hokkien)] o.O”

I asked James if he likes Chocolate cake.
James : 我不喜欢, 因为那个蛋糕很….我不会讲那个字, 我可以讲英文吗? [I don’t like, because the cake is very …. I don’t know how to say the word, can I speak English?]
Me : OK
James : Very strong (concentrated)
Zara : 哦我知道那个字, “很有力”. [oh, I know the word, it’s very strong (in strength).] o.O” She doesn’t know how to say the word 浓 (the Chinese word for concentrated).

When your child does not squint, does not have cross eyes, does not complain about eyes being tired, does not show any inability to string beads, put details on drawing, does not complain about not able to see writings on the board or books, how would you know if her eyes have problem?

You don’t. Just like us.

I only realised something was not quite right, when Zara dashed towards a car one day in the park. She said it looked like her Daddy’s car, that was why she got so excited. Unfornately, it wasn’t her Daddy, and the car did not look anything like Daddy’s car, except it’s also a sedan. That day, when we walked back home, I decided to test her eyes by asking her to read out the number plates of cars parked along the road.

I have low astig power, and I could read them all without my glasses. Zaria had no problem chipping in with her answers. Zara said all she could see was lines, no letters nor numbers were visible to her. o.O”

We had an appointment made for her to see an eye specialist in Tun Hussein Onn National Eye Hospital (THONEH) immediately.

5 minutes with the doctor, and she said yup, Zara has very high power and also astigmatism. She has not complained so far because the power on the left eye is lower, so the left eye is doing all the work. And because of that, her right eye has turned a bit lazy.

Next, we had her power checked (they had her eyes dilated with eye drops before checking).

And then had a pair of glasses made for her in THONEH.

Daddy wasn’t with us, and when I told him about her power, what the doctor said; he said I wasn’t asking the right questions. o.O” What is Zara’s problem anyway, why is her power so high? So we thought a second opinion should be seeked, and we made another appointment in International Specialist Eyes Centre (ISEC). This time Daddy took time off to go with me.

At ISEC, she went straight to Optemetrist. Got her power checked the 2nd time (they too had her eyes dilated with eye drops before checking).

Then we got to see the pediatric eye specialist, and here is his diagnosis. Zara has hyperopia. He did this drawing for us.
The top showing a normal eye, where far objects are focussed on the retina (yellow colour), and near objects are focussed at the back of the retina. Our lens through relax accomodation, will make the focus of the near object be on the retina (As we age, our accomodation weakened, and hence we’ll need reading glasses).

Someone with hyperopia, will have far objects focussed behind the retina, and near objects even further away from the retina, so in this case, near or far objects are not clear to this person. Being a child, Zara has higher accomodation (up to 7 to 8 diopter), and hence, she can still focus and see things. Her left eyes which has lower power, is also doing most of the work, compensating the right eye. However, it has taken a toll on the right eye, and she has a bit of lazy eyes.

But anyway, we need to get her prescribed glasses, so that she does not tax her eyes trying to accomodate, and her lazy eyes will not worsen.

I asked the doctor, can Zara’s hyperopia caused by anything that we’d done? Too much TV/iPAD? Fringe too long (I get blamed for this)? Reading light not bright enough (and this)? Doctor reassured us it was nothing we’d done which could have caused this, it’s probably something she was born with. *Relief*

We went back to THONEH to get them to make the glasses according to ISEC’s prescription (which is +100 more on the right eye).

Glasses were collected after a week.

Zara didn’t like it. She said everything looked blur to her. She could see better without the glasses.

You can imagine our frustration! After so much money and time spent, the problem was not resolved!

Daddy again took time off and brought Zara back to THONEH to complain. She got her eyes re-checked by another Optemetrist, this time without dilating the eyes. The power is +100 less than ISEC prescription for both eyes. According to this Optemetrist, it’s common after eye dilation, the power gets higher, some children are ok with that power, some are not. We had THONEH took back the 1st pair of glasses and made a new one using this new prescription.

So another week of wait and then last Saturday, we collected the new pair of glasses for her. She likes it, and said now everything looked magnified to her.

Obviously she chose the frame because of the cute designs (although I think half frames are so not practical for children). (See the snowman and the Christmas tree?)

This week was her first week in school with glasses. She said her friends, especially the boys, laughed at her. I’m blessed to have a daughter who’s so confident, she wasn’t upset by all the taunts. She told me when her boy friend laughed at her, she laughed back and told him, “哈!等下你也有啊! (Ha! Later you get it too!)”

Now if you are an optemetrist, or an eye doctor, or someone who’s familiar with hyperopia, can you tell me if Zara should be wearing her glasses just for reading? Or she should have her glasses on all the time (to see far and near)? Because I think there’s some contradiction we read on the internet. The ISEC pediatrict eye specialist said we should let her wear the glasses all the time though.