Zara is spending too many hours or nights sleeping in our bed with us. I really don’t mind her sleeping with us, but our bed is a Queen size bed, and she’s growing bigger, and tossing and turning more in the middle of the night. We have to squeeze ourselves to the sides of the bed so that she has more room in the middle.

On a normal day, after I’d nursed her, I would lie on the bed with her until she’s asleep. I would then carry her and placed her in her cot. If she woke up in the middle of the night, she would sit up, and start faking a cry. I have to then carry her to our bed, she normally will immediately fall back asleep when sandwiched between us, waking up only in the morning. This (wanting to come to our bed) can happen anytime from 1:30am to 5:30am.

Yesterday, I tried to ‘train’ her to fall asleep in her cot. After nursing her, she’s dopey and almost going to knock off; I put her into her cot. The minute she was laid down, she opened her eyes, her hand reached out for me. I said, “Zara big girl already, sleep on your own ok?”.

She sat up, tears welling up, and then the crying started. “Wah, Wah, Wah!”. Very pitiful, her eyes following me.

I told her, “mummy’s bed is just next to you, you want mummy, mummy will come, but today you sleep on your own ok?”

“Wah! Wah! Wah!” was her replied. Tears were flowing down, by now, she stood up and her arms reaching for me.

I tried to be firm, and said, “Zara sleep on your own, mummy hold your hands, you lie down and sleep.” She shook her head (NO NO NO). I laid her back down and held her hand. She sat up again, this time howling, and occasionally, not sure if it was acting, she made the vomiting sound, as though she’s going to puke if I don’t pick her up soon.

Gosh, what am I to do now? The books said I should lay her down firmly, and tell her it would be ok, and be nearby so she can see me. But look at her, I can’t do it. My mind working to look for an answer. Ok, Ok, I’ll compromise. I carried her up. Immediately, she laid her head on my shoulder, the howling stopped, but she was still sobbing. I said, “mummy pat pat you, then you go back to sleep in the cot ok?”. After the word has spoken, she raised her head, shook it, and started crying again.

Ok ok, comfort her first. I started patting her again, and she calmed down. When I thought she was calmed, I put her back into the cot, and said, “Good girl, Zara, sleep on your own ok?”. The howling started again. This repeated a few times.

Daddy heard the commotion and came in to kay-poh(nosy) investigate. “What happened?” He asked. “Trying to train her to sleep on her own, but she’s making a fuss.” I replied. “Aiya, just let her sleep with us then.” Zara saw Daddy to the rescue and started making the vomiting sound again, “URK! WAH WAH WAH! URK”.

Ok, I give up! I put her down on our bed. Miraculously, the tears stopped, but she still looked at me pathetically, it’s like giving me the “aren’t you going to sleep with me like you always do?” look. Ok, ok. I laid down next to her, and immediately, she wrapped her arms around mine, still sniffing, but drifting off to sleep.

Zara 1, Mummy 0. Aigh.
See, the small space I have to sleep on every night.