I’m amused and at the same time finding myself out of wits handling the little one. See the things she said.

Daddy asked her to share a piece of cake she’s eating, she said, “This is a girl’s cake, boys cannot eat.”

Zara complained to me that Zaria took a piece of dough I gave her. Zara said, “Naughty Zaria, took my dough”
Zaria explained to us, “No. I’m not naughty. Jiejie left it there (at the sink), so I take.”

Sometimes I mixed the girls’ name up, and a few times when Zara did something wrong, I raised my voice and said, “ZARIA! Don’t do that.”
Zaria would quickly correct me, “It’s not Zaria, it’s Zara.”

While poking my belly button, she saw my laproscopy scar. She looked concerned, “Tssss. Mummy, what happened?”
“Mummy, had an operation last time.
“Painful or not? Let me sayang. *blow the spot* Better? *kiss the spot* The doctor just now ampoo-tait (amputate) you?”
(for her, anything that happened in the past is ‘just now’)

She asked me to read a book to her, I told her I can’t because I was having a fever.
“Then, I read myself.”
She took a book, and pretended to flip the pages. “Once upon a time, the mummy is having a tem-pee-cher (temparature), the jiejie is coloring, the mei mei is covering her (face with a) book, the aunty is cooking, the daddy is working. The end.”

Daddy was asking Zaria why she broke a basket at home in the car, and when we arrived our destination, she refused to hold Daddy’s hand, she said, “I’m not going to friend you any more. Because you say something bad about me.”

o.O” o.O” o.O”

Sometimes when I raise my voice at Zaria, or scold her, she’ll challenge ask me, “What did I do? Mummy? What did I do?”

One day, I called her “Little One”, and she replied by folding her arms, and turning away, “I’m not little any more oh-kay? I’m big girl.”

Daddy was touching her head, while reading a book to her, she said annoyingly, “Daddy! You cannot stroke me, after that my hair fall down (i.e. messing up her hair).”

I asked her to tidy up the puzzles she’s scattered on the floor before reading, she told me, “I cannot clean up, it’s hard work. After that my hand become hard.”

o.O”

At home, we got the girls to wash their hands as frequent as possible. When we’re out, we warned them not to touch railings, lift buttons, actually just about anything. We also got them to use the hand sanitizer if they’d touched anything we thought might have germs. In school, their temparature is taken before they are allowed in the school compound.

Naturally, they asked us what is all this fuss about. We told them there’s a virus called H1N1, and the ways one can contract it. After a while, they started forming ideas themselves.

Zara being a bit paranoid will came out questions like, “How do you know if you have H1N1?”
“Mummy, I have a bit of a sore throat, do I have H1N1?
“Mummy, I just touched the XXX (which could be anything), will I get H1N1?”

And she said, “H1N1 is the king of virus. All the other germs listen to him, and they will attack you. So you’ll be very sick.”

Over dinner, the little one said, “I got H1N1.” pointed to her wound from her fall yesterday, “See my H1N1.” o.O”

I can make them soup they would never drink, ask them to eat vege they would normally give it a pass, all I have to say is, “It’s good for you, help your body to be strong, to fight H1N1” And they would cringe and gulp.

When I was giving them their dose of DHA pill (which they love btw, no coaxing required) just now, Zaria said, “I eat fish pill (which is what they called) already, then can squash the H1N1.”

The girl one day just declared, “I’m not getting married to an Italian any more. I’m going to get married to Ling Jing my boy friend.”

o.O”

Me : “Who’s Ling Jing?”
Zaria : “Ling Jing is jiejie’s boy friend la, in kool (she always leave out the ‘s’ for words with blending sound starting with s).”
(oh.. so even Zaria knew about it)
Me : “In kool?”
Zaria : “SSs-kool. Ling Jing is jiejie’s boy friend in school.”
Zara : *smiled shyly* “He’s from the 6 years old class. I like him.”
Me : “Why? Is he handsome?”
Zara : “A little bit. But he’s nice.”
Me : “Why do you say he’s nice?”
Zara : “He always smiles. And he always greets all the teachers in school.”
I was wondering if this was the boy which had lost some teeth and was always grinning.
Me : “Is he the boy with some teeth missing?”
Zara : “Some of his teeth fall off already.”
(I’m rather glad she likes some one for his ‘goodness’ rather than for his looks).
Me : “Did you tell him you like him or not?”
Zara : “Ya. I told him he’s my boyfriend.”
Me : “What did he say?”
Zara : “He just smiles.”

Hmm… I thought it’s just for that one day she thinks she likes this Ling Jing fella.

Then she drew this.

Zara : *shyly* “Mummy, look. I draw (drew) Ling Jing and me. See. He has flowers for me, and he’s holding my hand”
o.O”
Me : *tried to sound cool* “Nice picture. Why is he thinking about himself and you are thinking about yourself?”
Zara : “No. He’s thinking that I love him, and I’m thinking he loves me.”
o.O”

Zaria not to be left out, also said, “I also have boy friend you know. Benjamin is my boy friend”

o.O”

I think this girl really has the potential to be a lawyer.

Zara sometimes see a nice wedding scene on magazines or her TV show, and she’ll talk about getting married.
Initially, she said she wanted to get married to Daddy’s boss, because Daddy’s boss is extremely handsome (so mummy told her). However we told her by the time she’s old enough to get married, Daddy’s boss will be too old for her.
We offered her alternative. She loves pasta and cheese and hence we told her she may want to get married to an Italian.
Few days later, she said, “Mummy, how am I going to get married to an Italian?”, she sounded very worried. “I cannot speak Italian.”
It seems she’s been thinking about our proposal. o.O”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ . ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I told Zara over the weekend, “My eye sight is getting bad. I think I need a pair of glasses made.
Zara casually asked, “Did you get your book yet?”
Huh?
I answered, “I need a pair of glasses, not a book.”
She replied, “Did you get your book yet? You know, a book to give you instructions to make a pair of glasses?”
Oh, she probably thought glasses (which no one in the house wear one, thank our lucky stars), can be made following instructions from a book just like cake making or biscuit making.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ . ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

While checking out my SIL’s new house which is bigger, and more spacious, Zara sulked and said, “I don’t like people’s house to be bigger than mine you know.” and then she added “I don’t want them to pity me (and my small house).”
o.O”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ . ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s always hard trying to get Zara to finish her homework before dinner. Yesterday, while we were going to the park she told me, “I like to have fun first, then later, do my homework.”
I teased her, “In that case, maybe mummy also should have fun first, and do my work later. Then maybe mummy’s boss won’t be happy and won’t pay mummy the money to buy food or clothes for you.”
She considered it for a moment and replied, “Mummy, don’t listen to me ok? You follow what your heart tells you to do.”
o.O”

In a recent trip to the mall, when I brought Zara to the toilet, she pointed to the gents and said “Penis goes there.” And then to the ladies, “Pet Pet this way.”

o.O”

My in-laws have just moved to a house ~2km away from ours (and leaves me many tales to write about). After picking up the girls from school, on our way, I sent some packed char siu (Cantonese : BBQ Pork) rice over. My FIL was working in the garden topless when we dropped by.

Zaria : Why yeh-yeh never wear baju (Malay : clothes)?
Zara : Because he’s feeling hot. His body is very hot, so he took off his clothes.”
She added further : His penis is not feeling hot, that’s why he didn’t take off his pants.”

o.O”

On our way home from school, just for the sake of discussion, I asked the girls if I can have another baby.

Here is a gist of how the conversation went.

Zara : NO!
Zaria : Cannot
Me : Why?
Zaria : *very quickly*You can only carry me. You can only sleep with me. Oh-kay?!
Zara : If you want to have another baby, then you must get married again, then I will have a Step-father. I don’t want to have step-father (I have been telling her you have to get married then only can get pregnant).
Me : I don’t need to get married again. I’m already married. Remember or not, when mummy have mei-mei, did mummy get married again?
Zara : Oh.. You just went to the doctors only right?
Me : Yah.. So, can I have another baby?
Zara : NO!
Zaria : NO!
Zara : If you have another baby, sure you will have a boy one. I don’t like boys. So naughty.
Me : Maybe it’ll be a girl. Then you’ll have another mei-mei.
Zaria : I don’t want mei-mei. I don’t want baby.
Zara : I got mei-mei already. You have another baby, then you will have no time for us any more.
Me : You two can play together right?
Zara : But we still need you to play with us. If you got baby already, then you will forget about us.

Not that I’m considering having another. I have closed shop. But it’s nice to see their reactions. 😛

Daddy and I are not the most loving couple, but recently, we try to have more couple time by sneaking going out for meals without the girls (mind you, the times we did this are probably ~ 5 times since Zara was born but they all happened this year). Here is my marriage counsellor’s view.

Me : Do you think Daddy love mummy?
Zara : No, I don’t think so.
Me : Why don’t you think Daddy love mummy?
Zara : If he loved you right, he will have a party like the party Ah Ku have for Ah Kim. o.O”

When we got back from late lunch without the girls on Saturday (we actually went out while the girls took their naps to a near by restaurant for lunch, but Zara woke up earlier than normal so she ‘caught us’ red handedly), Zara was very upset, and started questioning why we went out without them etc.
I had to spend a great deal of time explaining to her, in gist, I told her we are married, and sometimes we need to have some time on our own without them, so that we will be closer and more loving etc.

On Sunday, when we went to have lunch in Fish & Co (this time with the girls of course), Zara said, “Mummy and Daddy, the 2 of you sit that side (pointing to 1 side of the table with 2 seats). Zaria and me sit this side. Then you can spend time together.” o.O”

I get a lot of pleasure these days talking to Zaria or just listening to what she has to say about things. This girl does not at all speak like a two and a half, but like a little old lady, and the things she says always bring smiles to our faces.

She likes to look at the photos in our study, those photos were taken before the girls were born, and she would always ask me, “Where is meimei?” last time. After explaining to her a few times, now she would point to the various photos and say, “This one I not yet born?” (she’s stopped calling herself ‘mei-mei’ and refer to herself as I or Me). “This one jiejie born already? I not yet born?” and to those photos with her, “This one I born already right? Remember, yesterday, I went to ….” and she’ll start telling us where the photo was taken (but the timing is always ‘yesterday’) and what she was doing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ . ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We were at my sister’s place on Saturday, and my BIL whom Zaria has not seen for a while was home. She came to me, and peeped at my BIL and then asked me in a small voice, “Mummy, what’s the name of the boy?” (BIL, it must have boosted your ego as Zaria called you a boy, and not a man)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ . ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Over the weekend, Daddy and I sneaked out for our hair cuts when the girls were taking their naps. When we came back home, we were expecting kids with teary eyes or complaints from them, but was pleasantly surprised when Zaria dashed out with a big smile to hug me and said, “Mummy!!! I’m so glad to see you.”.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ . ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She was entertaining herself in the study, and I caught her like this.

Two nights ago, she was in the study, and she asked me to show her “Where’s your mama gone” and “Sugar-Sugar” on my computer, I told her I had to finish work first.
“When you are done, you call my name ok?”
“ZA-REEE-AH… like that. Ok?”
After I’d done with my work, I showed her those videos as promised, but it was taking a long time to load. “What happened?” she asked.
“Zaria, Something is wrong with the video”
Like a tech support, she pointed to a key on my key board, “Maybe you need to press this button first.” o.O”

After showing her the videos, I asked her to go to the room first while I shut down my computer. She could now reach for the door knob and open the door on her own, but she didn’t close the door after her. Daddy, who was in the room, told her to shut the door immediately, or else we’ll get mossies in the room. “But mummy need to come in.” (How thoughtful to keep the door opened for me. Daddy should learn from her.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ . ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yesterday after dinner, she wanted a drink, and she said this, “I cannot drink cold drinks you know. I got running nose. I better already, after that I can drink cold drinks. Wait ah, after I get better first. Five minutes.” (It’s obvious doesn’t know how long is five minutes)

Doesn’t she talk like an old lady?

As we do not want the girls to see anything not meant for their eyes or pick up languages that they were not supposed to learn, we never watched any ‘adult’ movies (here, adult means any movies not created for kids) in front of the girls. Even if we did watch something in their presence, it’s always ‘screened’ first by us, before watching the movie together with them (normally selected scenes which we think might interest them). What they pick up or watch in other people’s house is something I can’t control, but this is what is practiced in our house.

So far Mama Mia is the only ‘adult’ movie that we have allowed them to watch from beginning till the end, and because it’s a movie they love, they have been watching it over and over again.. this is the effect.. (you will only ‘appreciate’ if you have watched the movie)

Both girls can sing almost all the songs in the movie.

Zaria who used to be a bit reserved (in kissing), is now giving long kisses on the lips. I saw her giving Zara a long kiss on the lips once when they were watching the scene of Sam (Pierce Brosnan) proposing to Donna (Meryl Streep) in the church.

Once, they kept talking about puting different things in people’s petpet (Lemon in poh-poh’s petpet, vege in auntie’s petpet etc). When I asked them why they kept saying rude things like that, they told me “the auntie put flower in her petpet wut when she sing (sang) Dancing Queen in Mama Mia”. o.O”

And the best one..

Yesterday I was making some cheese puffs for the girls. After puting the tray into the oven, I asked Zara, “You come and see if these cheese puffs are enough for you or you think mummy should make more?”

Zara took a peek at the amount of cheese puff on the tray and said, “I’m not a bigamist, you fool.” o.O”
After recovering from my shock, I asked her, “Jie, do you know what bigamist is or not?”
Innocently, she replied, “Bigamist is big lo. I’m not so big, I don’t need to eat so much.”

See.. let them watch ‘adult’ movies, and they pick up words they have no idea what it meant.

Added June 18th :
After explaining what bigamist to Zara, to test her knowledge, I asked her yesterday“So, is mummy and daddy bigamist or not?”
Zara replied, “No. You have 1 husband, and Daddy have 1 wife. You are not bigamist.”
Good, now she understood. Then she added, “Daddy and you are smallamist.”
o.O”