My Two Girls – All About Zara and Zaria

This Chinese New Year is just like any Chinese new year, it’s HOT HOT HOT! And just like every year, there’s some some visiting to do and dinner with family and friends.

The creative Zara has created her own Chinese New Year greetings unknowingly. Her way of saying GONG XI FA CAI is KUNCI (Malay : key, a Malay word she knows) FARTING since she doesn’t know Chinese, this is her way of remembering foreign sounding words using words she knows.

The girls’ new clothes for the New Year

Zaria clutching her first ang pow from ma-ma (Chinese : paternal grandma)

Our family’s Chinese New Year tradition, the younger generations offering tea to the older generation and receiving ang pows or red packets in return

Zara in The Curve. I like the Chinese New Year decorations there.

Besides the normal visiting, Zara also attending our neighbour’s Chloe’s birthday party

I have more patience with Zaria since she’s still so little, but very little patience with Zara.
Zara’s language ability and maturity makes us treat her like a 4yr old, and we assume she should behave like one (our fault!).
I keep reminding myself that she’s only two plus and we shouldn’t expect too much from her. She still needs lots of cuddling and time with us. I always feel so sorry when I loose my patience with her.

She’s crying so much these days, always expecting to see me next to her when she wakes up from her sleep.
When people come to the house bringing gifts for Zaria, the moment she spots the gift, tears will well up in her eyes.
For a month, she has kept her diaper dry almost daily/nightly (only the occasional “I forgot” situations). She does both her big and small business on the toilet bowl; ONLY wants me to help her and cries when she has to go to the toilet badly but I’m not able to assist her.
She asks me to carry her constantly, and when I can’t, sometimes she cries too.
If I’m nursing Zaria, she wants me to hold her hand at the same time.

Yesterday, when I was changing Zaria’s diaper, Zara wanted to be carried.
I said impatiently, “Zara, let mummy finished changing mei-mei first ok?”
For a while she was quiet, then she started crying.
Daddy asked her what happened, did she fall down etc.
She said in between her sobs, “Mummy don’t sayang (Malay : love) Zara any more”
Aiyo.. it broke my heart to hear that and I have to stop what I was doing, gave her a hug and reassured her that I love her very much. I also explained to her that because meimei is still small, I need to spend a lot of time nursing her and changing her diaper, since Daddy can’t do these (Daddy is totally hopeless with new born). I told her when I’m done with all these, I’ll spend time with her. Then the below conversation took place.
Me : “Why Zara think mummy don’t love Zara any more?”
Zara : “Because mummy always smack Zara”
Me : “Huh? Mummy long time never smack Zara already woh. (yeah, yeah, I used to smack her, but I tried not to these days, and have not been doing it)
Zara : “Because mummy always scold Zara”
Yup! I do, I scold her often because I always loose my patience with her.
Me : “Ok, ok. Mummy say sorry yeah. Mummy try not to scold Zara any more ok?
Zara : “And Zara be good girl.”

Today, after nursing Zaria, I told her we can go and play with bubbles. She was so happy and said, “Yeh! Mummy finished feeding meimei, now can spend time with Zara already!”

This girl, she’s just so sensative. And me, I really need to be more patient!

Bubble Time

Every time someone I know meets Zaria, they’ll say something like this, “Err, your girl, err.. big hor?”
Hmm, yesterday, we took her for her 6th week jab and got her measured. She’s almost put on 2Kg in 6 weeks (birth weight 2.91kg, now 4.85kg), and taller by 5.5cm (birth height 51.5cm, now 57cm).
She is indeed getting bigger, longer, and the cheeks chubbier.

At 6th week, she’s sleeping less.
She kicks her legs and punches her fists.
She likes us to talk to her and she’ll look at us intently and cooes back, if she’s in the mood.
She’s very serious looking and rarely smiles, but when she does, I can spot the little dimple on her left cheek.
She likes to lift her head up and look around when we carry her tummy (hers) on chest (ours), but dislikes being put on the tummy lying down.
When she’s really upset and cries (she never wails, just cries), tears will form and she really looks so so sad.
She still drinks three hourly, but luckily at night, she wakes up 5hourly. E.g. last feed at about 10pm, she’ll wake up at about 3am and then the next round at 8am.

Chubby Cheeks at 6th week (the head band was Tuyam’s idea)

This is a phrase Zara likes to use these days. She tells me what she wants to do/be when she becomes a big girl.

Zara : *going through my lipsticks*When I big girl, then I can put lipstick. Then I can wear nice baju (Malay: Clothes).
Me : Where do you want to go?
Zara : Go office to work loh. (she’s using lots of loh, lah in her conversation these days, and Daddy said it’s my bad influence)
Me : What work do you want to do?
Zara : Play with uncle guard (she followed me to office once on a Sunday, and there was only this guard working, she probably thinks there’s only the guard in the office working with me)

Sometimes she can talk on her own with no audience or response from us.
Zara : When I big girl I (will) be like Dr Jason (my gynae). Help to take baby out from the stomach.
Zara : Yes, after check check stomach must wash hands like this *pretend to wash hands*
Zara : Then after check stomach, I go home and have dinner with my children (wow, already know about work-life-balance)

Other things she wants to be when she is a big girl :
Zara : When I big girl, then I can carry meimei
Zara : When I big girl then I can ride the big bicycle
Zara : When I big girl then I can pump petrol
Zara : When I big girl then I can play with knife, to cut cut xxxxx
Zara : When I big girl, then I can eat sambal (Malay : chilli paste)

Once I asked her :“When you are a big girl, will you still love mummy or not?
Her response: “No.”
Ouch!

My big girl

Apology: I’m reading my comments for each post, by have no time to respond to each of them.

Zaria 
At  6 week old, she has established a routine which is very close to the family’s. I thank God for this.
She wakes up in the morning, and entertains herself (I’d seen her kicking her legs quietly in the mornings). When she hears us waking up, i.e. the talking, the foodsteps in the house, she’ll call/cry out to us, to be acknowledged/carried or nursed.
She spends the day in between sleeping and waking. When she’s hungry, she will call out instead of crying. Normally when Zara and myself nap, she’ll also be napping with us or quietly kicking her legs or punching her fists keeping herself occupied.
From 6pm to 10pm, she becomes more demanding and wants body contact; she wants to be carried, or to be on the breast. This is when she cries the most, especially when we put her down. Dinner time is a bit challenging for us with Zara and Zaria both requiring attention at the same time. 
When it’s bed time, she takes light out as a que. After nursing her, and given Zara her milk, lights will be turned off. She’ll quietly lie on the bed, dozing off to sleep.
She gets up once in the night, and another early in the morning to feed. Actually, she doesn’t cry out to be nursed, she just shuffles on the bed; being a light sleeper, I’ll wake up and feed her. (I’m thinking of ignoring the shuffling once she goes pass this week, since Zara stopped waking up to be nursed at 6th week).

Zara
It has been rather challenging caring for Zara since Zaria’s arrival.
She will have stomach aches when I’m nursing Zaria. She gets into accidents a lot like knocking her head on the dining table while walking, falling down from the sofa, tripping on things etc.
She says things like, “I smack meimei yeah because she’s so naughty.” (when Zaria cries).
“I want to fry kakak until kakak becomes krok-krok (crunchy), and then I (will) eat kakak”
“Kakak you go home to Indonesia loh.”
“Daddy, that’s my bed, go away.”
(she doesn’t use such words with me though)
She cries a lot and the trigger can be something very minute (e.g. Can’t pull out a book from the shelf; I need to be in the study blogging working; she wakes up and I’m not next to her).
In the night, she will stay up until I’d finished nursing Zaria, and wants me to cuddle her to sleep.

We started toilet training her (should have done this before Zaria came). Since last week, she’d only poo-ed in the toilet bowl, and sometimes if she remembers to tell us, she pees in the toilet bowl too. She wants me to be the one who help her with using the toilet and normally have urges to pee and to poo when I’m cuddling Zaria.

Start young with good toilet habit

She wants to be carried a lot, especially by me. She wants me to be the one bathing her, napping with her, brushing her teeth, helping her with the toilet.

Child Care Options
I don’t know how some SAHM does it, handling 2 kids without a maid. I salute them! I’m finding it tough even with a maid. I get so stressed when Zaria needs her feed and Zara gets all worked up and wants my attention too.

I’m cracking my head with child care options after my maternity.
1) Hire another maid
2) Put one of the girls in child care center
3) Send Zara to half day nursery

Tuyam confirms she’ll stop working for us in early 2008. Hiring a maid seems to be a good option since the kids now need most attention. By 2008, Zaria will be 1 and Zara 3, and hopefully things will get better, and we will just need 1 maid (the new one) to handle the kids during working hours and to do the house work.

Parents out there, do you have any suggestions for child care? I’m not as lucky as others, as my MIL is not keen too old to help.

Chubby Cheeks a.k.a Sleepy Head

The girls together. Zaria seems to be in a bit of a shock as this is the first time we propped her up like that

Prezzies from blogging friends, Sasha‘s blankie, Cocka‘s bear (which is 3 times bigger than Zaria), Kat’s height and photo chart; Zaria’s full moon pack out to friends

Sometimes Zara wants the same treatment as Zaria (i.e. lie on mummy’s lap) when she takes her milk

Zara getting ready to ‘nurse’ her lamb (something she does very often when I’m nursing Zaria); Zara and her cow boy costume; Zara wanting to look like the Chinese Four Princess tying her hair like that.

Zaria, 2026 bond girl, started practicing for her audition.

Confinement is finally over!!

Actually it was over for me on Friday, when Daddy and I left the girls with the CL and Tuyam and went for dinner. Just the two of us. The first time we did this in 26months! Yes, since Zara was born, we never gone out for a dinner without her. Sad eh?
When we got back, Zara was asleep. Tuyam told us Zara was hugging my bolster and pillow crying, “Mummy sorry, mummy, sayang (Malay : stroke, love) you (me)”; and she cried so long that she tired herself and dozed off. She thought I went out because I was angry with her, even though I’d told her we’d gone out for dinner with my boss and children are not supposed to go  (a lie, I know) . I felt so sorry.

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Daddy sent the CL off with RM20 ang pow and full pay on Saturday. When Daddy told her about not giving her a big ang pow, the CL said she understood and she was sorry about the kitchen top.
To be fair to the CL, although she was not very helpful with other chores ourside of her ‘job description’ (if they have one) and being so forgetful and careless, she was good to Zaria. That was why we kept her for the full 30days.
No matter how many times I woke her up in the night to change Zaria’s diaper (if I knew it was soiled), she woke up willingly, never once sounded impatient and talked to Zaria softly while changing her.
She called Zaria by her name and always spoke to her gently (my first CL told me she never called the babies under her care by their names, preferring to call them ah-boy or ah-girl). Before she left, she kissed Zaria on the cheek (Ew!) and told her to be good.

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Zaria had her fullmoon celebration in Dragon I on Saturday, just a family event. She was very well behaved with so many people taking turns to carry her.

On Sunday, it was Daddy and my first trip bringing the two girls out. We just went out in the evening to the Lake Gardens, and then for dinner. To get everybody ready, it took 2hrs!
Zaria slept througout the time we were in Lake Gardens and by dinner time she was awake and fussing. Dinner was total chaos. We have Zaria crying (which is getting more common after the CL left) in my arms; Zara on Daddy’s lap refusing to have her dinner and making a mess of everything on the table. Both of us were eating with one hand, while holding on to each girl with the other.
Other diners were throwing glances at us, probably saying to themselves “Thank God for contraceptive!”. *sigh*

I don’t like to bitch in my blog, but I can’t help it.

In the house, my reign is in the kitchen. The utencils we used, the kitchen cabinets are mainly my choices, and I’m most proud of it. Now when you have a Madam-Know-It-All or Madam-Absent-Minded at home, what happened?

First incident : Madam-Know-It-All
We heard grinding sound in the wet kitchen and I thought the CL must be preparing some soup. I took a peek. To my horror, she was actually sharpening our Zwilling Ja Henckels knife on our stone mortar.
“What are you doing??”
“Sharpening your knife, it’s blunt.”
“What?? Do you know this is an expensive knife and should only use the proper sharperner to sharpen it?”
“My other clients also use this brand of knife ma, and they just use the stone mortar to sharpen it.”
“That’s their problem!! Please, the next time when you want to do such things, ask us if it’s ok first!”
There goes my RMXXX knife.

Incident Two : Madam-Forgetful
After her bath, Zara came down and mentioned, “Mmmm, I smelled toast.” I sniffed the air and smelled something sweet, asking if Tuyam was making toast, but she said nope.
Got her to check the wet kitchen and she said the CL is double boiling something and the water has dried up.
Called for the CL (who was somewhere reading her papers) and she went to have a check.
“Aiya.. I thought still got lots of water, didn’t know dried up liao.”
After some scrub scrub, wash wash, the wok could not be saved. The CL was double boiling DOM ginger chicken soup for me, and the sweetish DOM has spilled out and got burnt, leaving a blackish crust on the wok.
There goes my well seasoned wok.

Incident Three : Madam-Know-It-All AND Madam-Absent-Minded
I was reading a book to Zara and preparing for bed, and suddenly the CL came up and said, “Aiya, I was pouring out your soup and the pot burnt me, so I quickly placed the pot on your kitchen top. Now there’s a mark there. I’ll go ask your husband to have a look.” and she went out to the study to get Daddy.
I thought it was a small matter but I heard a loud scream from Daddy.
Oh boy, must be bad, I quickly went down to have a look.
Sure thing, our two year old Ikea kitchen top has a big burnt mark on it just next to the sink. (Ouch!)
“Aiya, not serious lar. Can use paint to paint it, then you won’t see the mark any more. I forgot ma. All my clients have tiles kitchen top. Didn’t know yours is wood, can burn.”
I was so furious I just said, “Few days ago, the wok, now this!”
This is by far the worst damage, because you can’t just change the top, it’s too troublesome, we’ll have to live with this ugly mark for as long as we still have this kitchen cabinets!

Scarred for Life!

Daddy told me to cool it just in case she may do some thing to Zaria. He mentioned he’ll settle with her this Sat, her last day! The worst thing we could do is not to give her ang pow, what else can we do?

And I haven’t even included the shower head that she broke on Day 3 she arrived in our house! Niah Mah! KNN! @#%!@#%

It’s nice to see that Zaria is getting a bit chubby, and I feel proud knowing that all this was the result of her drinking the milk I produced.

She latched on well since day one which makes breastfeeding her easy. She now drinks 3 to 4 hourly, and I think she should be drinking about 3oz. In the day, when she wants milk, she’ll just give us a shout (yeah, a shout, like “Ehhhh”); and in the night (she probably knows this since the room is dark), she only makes the “Eh Ugh” sound or shuffles in her sleep when it’s time for her feed. Once she ‘informs’ us she wants her milk, she patiently awaits for us to feed her. What a nice baby she is.

She’s now nick named Chubby Cheeks at home.

Chubby Cheeks asleep

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Since Zara only weaned off from the breast at 18 months, she remembers those breast feeding days. I initially thought I will probably need to do tandem feeding when Zaria was born, but she was proud to have been ‘promoted’ to jiejie, and she thinks only babies drink from breast.

On the first night after we were back from the hospital, I was feeding Zaria, and realised that it’s also milk time for Zara. I asked “Zara, you want milk?” (actually asking if she wanted me to make her milk for her). She looked at me with this funny expression, and pointed to her teeth, “Zara got teeth already, cannot drink milk from the breast.” :-I

There are other times when she proudly says, “Mei mei baby, drink milk from mummy’s breast. Zara jiejie already, drink bottle milk only.” or “Last time Zara baby, Zara drink breast milk, now Zara big girl already, drink milk from bottle only”

She’s so proud to be all big and grown up now. 😛

Since I go to bed the same time as Zara (and luckily Zaria goes to bed the same time too), I started praying together with her lying down on my bed. I’ll ask her to put her hands together, and I’ll say the prayer, it goes some thing like this : “Mummy ask Jesus to protect Zara and meimei, so that Zara and meimei will be strong and healthy. Mummy ask Jesus to teach mummy to be a good mummy.”

Yesterday, after I’d finished the above prayer, Zara added, “Mummy ask Jesus to teach mummy to be a good mummy, so that mummy will not scold Zara so much yeah?”

Oh boy, her ‘prayer’ tickled me but at the same time made me realise I must be quite harsh on her most of the time. I have to learn from this young lady, to use more positive words when I give out instructions or comments to Zara.

So God, help me to be a better mum, that I will not scold my kids (or sound as though I’m scolding them) so much. Amen.