Zara is at a stage where she’s very reluctant to share her things, and we have tried hard to make her understand that sharing is nice, sharing is good.

We also remind her that her friends share with her, and so do mummy and daddy.
E.g. “Chloe share with you her toys when you go to her house to play right? So you also must share share.”
“Mummy share with you the nice chocolate ice cream right?”
“Daddy share with you the watermelon right?” etc.
And “must share share” was something we say to her often when she’s not sharing.

Sunday after we’d finished shopping in Ikea and took the lift to get to the car park, Zara saw 2 little girls holding on to an Ikea bear each.
From her pram, she said to one of the girl nearer to her, “Give you (me) the bear please.”
When the girl clutched on the bear tighter, Zara said to her, “Must share share mah.”

Yikes, she thought every thing should be shared and everybody should share…. although she’s still reluctant to do her part.

After work yesterday, I went to have dinner at my sis’ place and to pick up Zara.

When I arrived, she was playing in my sis’ room. My nephew who’s sitting for his UPSR (Primary 6 exams) next week was studying in the room as well.
Me : “Zara, lets go out. Nicholas kor kor need to study.”
Zara : “Don’t want.”
Me : “We must go out. And let Nicholas kor kor study.”
Zara : *glanced at his books* “Nicholas kor kor need to study A, B, C.”
I shut the room door and led her outside.

After 5minutes.
Zara : *came to me and asked* “Go yi-yi (Chinese : mum’s sis) room jump jump on the bed.”
Me : “Cannot, Nicholas kor kor studying. When Nicholas kor kor finished his exams, then you can go in and jump jump on the bed like a crazy girl.”
Zara was happy with my answer and continued playing in the living room.

10 minutes later, when Nicholas came out of the room to get himself a drink, Zara came to me and pointed to him.
Zara : “Nicholas kor kor finished exam already. Zara can go into the room to jump jump on the bed like crazy.”

That’s her comprehension of ‘study’ and ‘exam’.

Pst. I’m having problem accessing comments of blog who has migrated to Blogspot Beta version. It’s taking forever to launch the comments pop up. If I’d not left a comments in your post, it’s not because I’m not visiting you, it’s due to this technical problem that I’m not leaving my ‘mark’.

Here’s Zara getting ready for her birthday..

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_5Gukdc8B80]

Few days back
Me : Zara, mummy buy you new bed, you sleep on new bed ok? Your cot let baby sleep.
Zara : Don’t want. Zara sleep Zara’s bed.
Me : Where will baby sleep then?
Zara : *pointing to our bed* With Mummy and Daddy

Yesterday night
Me : Zara, mummy buy you new bed, you sleep on new bed ok? Let baby sleep in your cot.
Zara : Don’t want. Baby sleep new bed. Zara sleep in the cot.
Me : Why? Mummy get you nice nice new bed woh, you don’t want?
Zara : Don’t want. Zara likes Zara’s cot. Baby sleep new bed.
Me : What about nap time? Can baby sleep with you on the mattress (she has a mattress downstairs for her afternoon nap) down stairs?
Zara : Cannot. Baby sleep in small cot downstairs.
Me : But, we don’t have small cot downstairs.
Zara : Baby sleep on the floor then.
Me : But the floor is so hard and cold. You must sayang (Malay : love) baby, let baby sleep on the mattress with you.
Zara : Sleep on mummy’s body then.
Me : *roll eyes*

We still have yet to sort out the sleeping arrangement. We thought of getting a new bed for Zara, park it next to my side of the bed (like we did with the cot), and let baby sleep in the cot. Zara doesn’t seem keen with the idea.. but maybe she’ll change her mind when we bring her bed shopping.

By the way, got my amnio test result, and every thing is ok.. what a relief. So I’m now half way with my pregnancy, 20more weeks to go.

Before we went out over the weekend, I had a short top and shorts on, my tummy showing.
Me : *sticking out my tummy* Zara, can mummy go to the supermarket like that?
Zara : *looked at me* Cannot.
Me : Why?
Zara : Because can see breast.
Me : Can see breast meh?
Zara : *pointed to my belly button and corrected herself* Can see belly button.

Zara likes to point to my stomach and says : Mummy stomach got baby.
And I like to ask her back : What about Zara? What is in Zara’s stomach?
Zara used to say : Zara’s stomach got worms (thanks to SIL who told Zara she would have worms in the stomach if she continued to suck her thumb)
And I told her she no longer have worms, because she’s stopped sucking her thumb. Now her reply is : Zara’s stomach got egg and cheese (her staple every day).

While checking out our wedding photos.
Zara : Daddy so handsome.
Me : Mummy pretty or not?
Zara : No
Me : Why mummy not pretty?
Zara : Mummy got mole. Like raisin. (referring to the mole I have on chest which is, yup, like a raisin, which could be seen on the wedding photo)

I wanted to test her again later.
Me : Zara, Mummy pretty or not?
Zara : …. (quiet)
Me : Mummy pretty or not?
Zara : Mummy happy.
Aiyo.. cannot say I’m pretty just to please me meh??
I probably have to dress up more nicely at home these days.

I have a night conference, after changing her to her pajamas, I told her I need to go and work, and Daddy will look after her.
Zara : Mummy stay with you (me).
Me : Mummy need to work, Daddy stay with you.
Zara : *trying to get rid of Daddy* Daddy, go to the toilet outside poo poo (referring to the shared toilet outside which we use for big business as the ensuite toilet in the master bed room flushing system is not that good)
Daddy : Daddy no poo poo. Daddy look after you while mummy works.
Zara : Go to the toilet outside to she-she (Chinese : pee) then. Go she-she. Mummy stay with you (me).

My little girl is turning into a lawyer buruk (Malay : a mediocre lawyer) these days. She’s learning to negotiate, giving instructions, recalling events.

Tuyam was having tooth ache and she complained to Zara hoping to get some sympathy and hence obedience from her.
Tuyam : Zara, kakak teeth pain pain.
Zara : *not empathetic* Because kakak never brush teeth!

She’s been very clingy and prefers me to bath her, even in the morning (which is all done by Tuyam during weekdays).
Tuyam : Zara, come take bath.
Zara : Don’t want kakak bath Zara. Kakak go hang tothes (clothes). Mummy bath bath Zara.
Tuyam : Mummy need to work. Kakak finished hang clothes.
Zara : Kakak bath bath Rusty then (Rusty is our cat). Take off Rusty diaper and baju.
Tuyam : Rusty got wear diaper and baju meh?
Zara : Take off Rusty collar then.
I just watched her in amazement, smiling to myself, taking in her ‘argument’.

She shouted for me at 5:30pm, asking me to bring her to the park.
Me : Mummy not yet finish work. Later ok, one more hour, then mummy come down and bring you to the park.
Zara : Mummy work work first yeah. After bring Zara to ship park (she always refers to our park as Ship park). Kakak cooking cooking at home. Then mummy bring you (me) to see snails (on our way back, we sometimes get to see snails). Then bath bath with you (me). Then makan (Malay : meal) time!

And every day before we leave the house for the park, Zara will say bye bye to Tuyam and add this, “Kakak cook nice nice mum mum (referring to her dinner) yeah?”

Zara is not bothered when I’m around her naked. In fact, she behaves as though it’s the most natural thing to do.

When we shower together, she loves asking me to carry her, and she’ll cling to me like a koala and lay her head on my shoulder. She probably likes the skin touch skin feeling.

The strange thing is, when Daddy is around her naked (even just being topless), she would say, “Daddy shame shame, never wear baju (Malay: clothes)”. If Daddy is topless, she would not let him hug her. She would just say, “Don’t want” without giving a reason (“Becausssssssss.. don’t want” she would say).

We tried this a couple of times, and the behaviour is always the same. I really wonder why.

~~~~~~~~~~~ . ~~~~~~~~~~~

I tried to check if she knows the different between a man and a woman one day.
So I asked her, “Mummy got petpet (Chinese : female organ) or not?”
Zara answered, “Got. Like Zara. Zara got petpet.”
And then I asked her, “Daddy got petpet or not?”
Zara answered, “No. Daddy don’t have. Daddy got pineapple. Got hair one.”
I laughed till I had tears in my eyes. Daddy’s definitely doesn’t shape like a pineapple, I don’t know how she even connect the two.

I’ve been trying to teach Zara to use the right ‘magic’ word like Please, Welcome, Sorry, Thank You for different situations. Here is how she uses it.

When she starts shouting for something she wants, like chocolate ice cream.
Me : Zara, what must you say?
Zara : *stops her shouting* Kakak, please, cho-koh-lat ice cream please.
Me : *after Tuyam has given her*, what must you say now?
Zara : Thank you Kakak.

Watching Barney, and she started jumping on the sofa full of excitement.
Me : Zara cannot jump yeah. If you jumped, mummy will turn off the TV.
Zara : *stopped jumping for a mere 15second, then resumed jumping*
Me : Zara, what did mummy say? Cannot jump yeah. Or else mummy turn off the TV.
Zara : *ignored me and continued with the dangerous stunt*
Me : *turned off TV*
Zara : *shocked, looked at me, and then quickly came over to hug me* So sorry mummy, so sorry. So sorry.
I never taught her how to say ‘so sorry’ before, but I guess I’d used it on her before when I accidentally bumped her head or ate the last piece of chocolate.

Half way through dinner, Zara pushed the spoon away when Tuyam attempted to feed her.
Me : Zara, what did mummy say? It’s rude to push the spoon away.
Zara : Thank you kakak. Kakak Please. Zara pao pao (Chinese : Full). Welcome.
Aiks, I taught her to say, “No thank you kakak. Zara pao pao already.” instead of pushing her spoon away, and this is how she said it.

When she sneezed.
Me : Bless you. Oops, you forgot to say something.
Zara : Excuse me. Welcome.

Conclusion, she knows when to use Sorry, Thank you, Please, but still confused about when to use Welcome, but she knows it’s a nice word to use. 😛

One night during bed time, Zara was jumping on the mattress and refused to quiet down. So I threatened her.
Me : “Zara, stop jumping on the bed. Time for bed yeah”
Zara : *ignored me*
Me : “Zara, you don’t want to stop is it?”
Zara : *ignored me* Jump jump jump!
Me : “Ok, then mummy go work work in the computer room (she refers to the study as computer room). Daddy tuck you in then.” (Knowing very well she won’t let Daddy tuck her in)
And then I pretended to reach for the door knob of the room.
Zara : *Cried* Urgh!!!
Me : *turned back to the bed* So you stop jumping ok?
Zara : *walked towards me, and smacked my shoulder* Beat mummy!
Me : Why you beat mummy?
Zara : Because mummy yai yai (Chinese : Naughty)!
Wah, she thought I was naughty because I threatened to leave the room.

While we were driving to Penang, Zara was getting restless sitting on the car seat for too long. She started swaying her head left and right and that caused her head to knock against the sides of the car seat.
Me : “Zara, you cannot bang your head like that”
Zara : *ignored me, continued to sway her head*
Me : “Zara, you bang your head like that then your head will be painful and you’ll be stupid”
Zara : *stopped what she was doing, and stared at me wide eyes* Mummy say stupid!
Me : *shit!* “Ermm.. yeah, because you’ll be stupid mah, if you bang your head like that”
Zara : *stared at me still* Mummy say stupid *waved her finger at me* cannot say stupid!
Me : Ok ok.. sorry, mummy shouldn’t say stupid. Stupid is not a nice word.
Right, my fault, I told her not to use the word, and I use it myself.

She’s getting to be more like me now.. hmm..

I’m not sure if we will successfully wean Zara from thumb sucking entirely, but we’re making good progress since 2 weeks ago.

I didn’t want to force her to quit that habit initially, because :
~ I find her very cute sucking her thumb (esp when holding on to Mr Blue)
~ It’s a good way for her to comfort herself esp when she wakes up middle of the night from a bad dream

Then, she was hurting her thumb more and more with all the vigorous sucking, until 2 weeks ago there was actually a 0.5cm cut, which was bleeding a bit. She occasionally complained, “thumb pain pain”. So we thought, maybe it’s time she should stop.

We didn’t plaster her thumb, nor put bitter ointment on her thumb. We just ‘psycho’ her. We told her
~ she’s jie-jie now, it’s not nice to be sucking her thumb
~ to compare her left (which she doesn’t suck) with her right thumb, left one is so smooth and ‘nice’, and the right one is not nice and so rough
~ she’s hurting her thumb because she’s feeling the pain now, and if she continue sucking, her thumb may get broken and I’ll have to shelve her thumb in the cupboard like I did with one of the broken figurine we have in our house (to this, she wailed and cried. Bad mummy!).

We even told her if she shook hands with people, people will say, “oh, such a nice girl, how come your thumb not nice one?”. To which she replied, “Zara shake hand with this hand then (reaching her left hand out)”.

During nap time, and bed time, when she asked for her linen cloth, the breast pad or Mr Blue (all are her comfort objects which are her ‘companions’ during thumb sucking sessions), we reminded her, “Don’t suck thumb yeah. Thumb thumb after broken and pain pain yeah.” She would then said, “Zara hug hug only. No suck suck thumb.”

The first 2 days were tougher, esp during nap time, she would cry, knowing she cannot suck her thumb (but we didn’t refrain her physically, just told her she shouldn’t suck), she even asked me to ‘go upstairs’ (she naps downstairs) and didn’t want me to be next to her. The first time ever she rejected me, because I was the culprit who wanted her to quit.

The next 2 days, she still cried, but she would ask me to sing to her and pat pat her. She would sob, and then eventually drift off to sleep.

Then the following days, she got a bit cunning. She would ‘negotiate’ with us. “Zara eat sweet first.” or “Kakak give Zara choklat”, “and then Zara no suck suck thumb.” And she did keep to her promise, after the sweet and chocolate, she would not fuss and go to sleep without the thumb.

In the night, it’s easier, because she’s with me during bed time. I’ll just remind her she shouldn’t suck her thumb, and that she’s promised us. I would hug her while she smells and twists the piece of linen, until she falls asleep.

We gave her lots of praises and encouragement. Praising her that she’s such a big girl, and a good girl, that she listens to us and not suck her thumb. Telling her her thumb is getting nicer and smoother (which is the truth) and no more painful. She would then ask all of us to kiss her thumb and then smile gleefully.

I notice she still sucks her thumb in the middle of the night, unconsciously. However, she used to suck on it for long period of time, but now it was just a few sucks here, and there, and she would pull out her thumb after that. Or when I pull it out, she would not place it back in her mouth like she used to (previously it was like a tug-of-war between the 2 of us).

We told her we would get her a present if she totally stop sucking her thumb. We asked her if she wanted a bicycle as she’s always admiring the bigger kids around our neighborhood riding one. She said, “Zara don’t want bicycle. Zara want paint paint only.” So that’s the deal, when she’s totally weaned off, we’ll bring out the new finger painting set I got Daddy to buy her from Changi Airport recently.

And here she is, finally able to fall asleep without sucking the thumb.