Wanted include this photo to the post on co-sleeping, but some how blogspot wasn’t allowing it. So here is one pic I wanted to share. This is one way that we co-sleep. Not very comfortable (for my bladder), but I don’t mind, anyway, it happens rarely (we mostly sleep like normal people do).

I could never relate to parents who co-sleep with their child, and when I learnt that some are still doing that even when the child is primary school going, I hissed under my breath.

Before Zara was born, we were doing rooms allocation and decoration plan for our new house, and I have big plans. We will have a separate room for Zara, she will learn how to be independent from day one. When people asked me where Zara was going to sleep when she’s born, I said smugly, “In the study room attached to our master bed room.” (this was in the old house). For her cot, I purposely looked for a big one which will be able to cater a child up till 3, 4 years of age.

I have never planned for what was coming.

As it was nearer to my EDD, I told Daddy the study room would be a bit too stuffy, since there’s only a small fan, and no aircon, I suggested that the cot be placed in the master bed room.

Then Zara was born, such a fragile and dependent little baby. I was always worried about SID (Sudden Infant Death). In her first month, I consciously woke up several times in the night just to check if she was still breathing (we didn’t have a confinement lady as stated here).

I started bringing her to bed for night feeds, we just laid side by side, she nursed and I could just lie down and watch her (less taxing on my back), or touch her. Several times, I drifting off to sleep half way, and didn’t put Zara back into her cot after her feed. Some how, with her sleeping close to me made me rest better (for one, I didn’t have to walk to her cot to check).

Then it started to become a norm, if she woke up for her night feed, she would sleep with us till the next morning.

Zara slept through starting from her 6th week. She would take her last feed at 11pm, then slept for 6 to 7 hours. This mean she would come to our bed, and have her milk at 5 or 6am and stayed till we woke up.

Somehow, she started waking up middle of the night again. Sometimes due to night mare, sometimes I think just so she could come to sleep with us. She would wake up at 4am, cried, and when we brought her to our bed, she would snuggle close to us, and went back to sleep (sometimes she would only go back to sleep if I nurse her). Then 4am became 3am, and 3am became 2am. Lately, at around 1am, she will be awake, stands in her cot, and starts shouting for me. She will stop only if she was brought to our bed.

In bed, to feel her head resting close to my arm or just being able to reach out and touch her, made me feel peaceful. Sometimes, she would have her arm thrown across ours, in the mornings, Daddy and I would competecompare notes on whom she clung on most during the night.

When Daddy is out of town, I would normally sleep with her. I found emotionally I am more peaceful with her next to me. I could always go to sleep with a smile, and wake up with a smile. And for Zara, I noticed that if she slept with me the whole night, she would rarely wake up in the middle of the night fussing, she would sleep through 10 solid hours.

I started finding excuses to get her to sleep with us.
“She seems to be having a slight cough, maybe she should come and sleep with us tonight so I can monitor her.”
“I’m very tired today, so I don’t want to walk to the cot to comfort her if she cried in the middle of the night, can she sleep with us?”
and lately, no more excuses, I just put her in our bed, and said “lets have her sleep in our bed tonight“.

Mind you, Daddy and I share a queen size bed; he’s a six footer, and I’m nothing close to being petite. We had to move our bodies close to the edge of the bed, and let her occupy the big space in the centre, but Daddy didn’t mind, and I love it. So, she’s spending more and more nights in our bed.

I now understand why people co-sleep with their child/children, it’s really for inner peace, for the child as well as the parents. As for the room we’d allocated to Zara, hmm, I’m not sure when I’ll ever be able to let her sleep so far away me.

Now, I’ll probably be hissed at since my great plans have failed.

It must have been me co-sleeping with Zara the last whole week when Daddy wasn’t around. She has always cling to me, but has not shown such affection before.

Occasion 1(yesterday morning and this morning) :
We were in the car as usual, Zara on her car seat in the front passenger seat, and I was driving towards King’s Wife’s place.
Zara : *hand reached out to my side, and look at me* “Uh…”
Me : *try to concentrate on the road but threw glances at her* “Yes Zara?”
Zara : *still looking at me with her hand reached out to me* “Uh…”
Normally, this indicated that she wanted my breast pad. But these 2 occasions, I’d already given her my breast pad earlier.
Me : *guess and gave her my hand* “You want mummy’s hand?”
Zara : *held it and grinned*
When I had to withdraw the hand to use both hand to steer, she would start all over again asking for my hand, and only be happy when my hand was in hers

Occasion 2 (yesterday night)
I had my dinner, and joined Zara in the living room. She was standing holding on to the coffee table while watching her favourite VCD Wheels In The Bus.
When I sat next to Zara, she started putting both her arms around me, then laid her head on my shoulder.
Me : “Zara don’t want to watch Zara’s show?”
Zara let go of her arm, one hand still held on to my shoulder, and continued looking at the TV.
Then, again, she wrapped her arm around me, and laid her head on my shoulder or stick her face close to mine.
This was done repeatedly for a few times.
My 11yr old niece Alicia saw all these and commented, “Aunty, why does Zara love you so much?”

Occasion 3 (this morning)
Daddy left for work earlier than usual, maid drying the clothes down stairs. Zara and I were in our room and I wanted to take my morning shower, so I carried Zara to her toys.
Me : “Zara, you play with your toy toy here ok? Mummy shower first”
I left her (making sure nothing dangerous or non child safe was lying around), left my pile of clothes at the door of the bathroom, went to the bathroom and closed the door (don’t want her to get to the toilet bowl) to shower.
After 5minutes, I thought I would go and check on her. Dripping wet, I opened the door.
Zara was seated on the floor right next to the door, she was holding on to my breast pad (found it from the pile of clothes I left), sucking her thumb, and looked up to give me a smile.
Me : “Zara, why don’t you go and play with your toys?”
Zara crawled towards me, and reached her hand out, wanting me to carry her.
Me : “Zara, go play with you toys ok? Mummy will go back to shower already ok?”
She sat back down on the floor, I closed the door and went back to finish my shower.
When I was done, and opened the toilet door, there she was, in the same position again, holding on to the breast pad, and sucking her thumb. When she saw me coming out, she let go of her thumb, and raised her hands to me, wanting me to carry her.

Is she becoming more affectionate or she’s just having separation anxiety? I hope it’s not the latter.

This happened at at my sister’s place, which is a three story town house, yesterday.

I was comfortably seated on the disgustingly sparkling clean kitchen floor; Zara was at the foot of the stair case, just 3, 4 feet away from me, interested in climbing up the stairs (probably to get to the TV room above).

She had both hands on the railing, head looking ahead of the stairs, she lifted one of her feet, just about to make her ascend.

Me : “Zara, please don’t go up the stairs”
She placed the lifted foot back on to the floor, and looked at me.
3 seconds later, she lifted one of her feet again, eyes looked ahead, about to place it on the step above.
Me : “Zara, mummy said please don’t go up ok?”
She turned to look at me again, placed her foot on the stairs, but her weight was still on the firm foot resting on the kitchen floor.
Me : “Zara, if you go up the stairs, and fall down, mummy will not sayang (comfort) you or kiss kiss you, huh?”
Zara paused and looked at me (trying to challenge me), but started to shift her weight to the foot rested on the step.
Me : *desperate light bulp appeared on top of my head*
*rub eyes* “Uh..uh..uh.. Mummy so sad, Zara doesn’t want to listen to mummy. Uh.. uh..” *pretend to cry*
Sister : *just in case my acting was lousy Zara didn’t know I was crying* “Oh-O, Zara made mummy cry cry”

I was concentrating on my acting crying, and then suddenly could hear the bell on Zara’s anklet tinkling. When I removed my hands from my eyes, she had already (wobbled forward and) reached me, and had her hands hugging around my neck.

Zara : “Pat Pat, Pat Pat”
(Me : *wow, new vocabulary*)
She started patting my back, then leaned her head on my shoulder. Her way of consoling the lying crying mum.
Me : *kiss her cheek* “Thank you. You came back to sayang (console) mummy is it?”
Zara : *still patting me* “Pat Pat, Pat Pat”
Me : “Zara is such a good girl”
Zara : *grinned, looked at me, then leaned her head back on my shoulder*

Aww, you can imagine how I feel the rest of the day, her action was like a cup of hot chocolate with mushmallows on a cold cold day *hands on chin, eyes blinking, lashes flicking*.

Zara has started standing and ‘walking’ a bit more nowadays since she took her first step a month back.

Here is a typical process she follows :
1) she pulls herself up using a piece of furniture, our legs, our hair, or anything she could get her hands on and strong enough to support her
2) she finds her balance
3) check out who or where she can walk to
4) she lets go of her hand (from whatever was supporting her) and she’ll raise them above her head
5) finds her balance again
6) trots forward
7) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 .. (depending how well balance she is) into our extended arms, or reach to another piece of furniture, or just *THUD* fall down

On one hand, we’re so excited about her ‘evolution’ from an all fours baby towards a walking todler; on the other hand, we’re worried about her hurting herself, especially her skull, during this ‘transition’ phase.

How did the other parents handle this transition period? Ma Xin, a friend from Beijing (who happened to have a little girl Zara’s age) said she learnt this from one of the baby & parent class she attended:

???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????. ???????????????????????. ??????????????????????????????. ?????‘??’????????????????????????????????????????

It translates to :

When we teach a child to walk, we should protect/guide the child from the front, not the back. We need to teach them when they fall, to fall forward on their knee, and not tumble forward. A lot of babies learning to walk, will plunge forward, this will easily cause injury to the face (or forhead). If we protect the child from the back, we are telling the child it’s ok to lean backwards when she lost balance. This will make the child, while walking, to subconciously fall backwards when they do fall.

The ‘wicked’ method would be, to stand the child on the bed, push the child farward, let the child fall knee down on the bed. She may not like it, but should be quite an effective method.

So, I’m going to try out this method with Zara. To have a gash on the knee, is better than having a bump on the skull, that’s for sure.

Any one has any more ‘proven’ tips?

Cons of working from home:

• We don’t have streamyx at home, so I have to use the bloody slow 28kbps line, netmeeting or the application I’m supporting will work like a snail with this speed
• Already, I’m working in isolation (my other team members are scattered all around Asia), not going to the office means I will miss out on local organizations gossips and updates
• I can work in peace in the office (won’t have a screaming Zara asking for mummy mid way through a teleconference)
• no one in the Malaysia office will know I’m dead if I work from home all the time

Pros of working from home:

• I don’t have to travel 30mins (highway all the way) to my sis’ or bro’s plc to drop Tuyam and Zara, and then another 15mins to the office; then in the evening, do the same. Save patrol, save toll (RM3.60 one way) & most importantly time
• When I start work, I don’t have to feel already half tired (from all the driving)
• I get to spend more time with Zara (since time is not used for travelling)
• I can spend all my break time playing with Zara as well as to nurse her (it definitely feels better than using the pump)
• I can check on the food Tuyam feeds Zara
• I can take a nap during lunch time with Zara
• The best part of working from home is able to see Zara popping her head into my home office occasionally with this big big grin.

Don’t I love my job for allowing me this flexibility?

I worked from home yesterday because I have back to back meeting starting from 7am (starting work so early is a torture like asking me to die early early, don’t know how egghead does it).

In the evening, I asked Tuyam to chop some iceberg lettuce and abalone mushroom, and then used this to make porridge for Zara. I left her with the instructions and went back to work.

When dinner was served, I scooped out some of Zara’s porridge into her bowl (I prefer to feed Zara when I’m around instead of getting the maid to do it). I noticed instead of chopping up the lettuce or mushroom to real small (baby with 4 teeth) bite size, Tuyam has cut the lettuce to long strips, and the mushroom big chunks. Both are not easy to chew. How’s the little girl going to manage?

I asked Tuyam, what happened here? She said “tak cukup kecil ke (is it not small enough)?” I told her both are equally difficult to chew, they are not fish or carrots, so these fibrous or rubbery stuff should be chop real finely like we chop up garlic for stirfrying.

Anyway, I scooped smaller pieces of the chopped up vege and mushroom and started feeding Zara, and reminded her to chew.

She took a mouth full, chewed real hard. Started whining, “Errr..” Gave her another mouth, she took it, and whined further. When the 3rd spoon reached her mouth, she pursed her lips, refused to opened again, and just turned her head away from the spoon. This didn’t look like her usual shake-head-don’t-want-any-more reaction. Let me try again.

I dipped a pair of kitchen scissors into the porridge to try to cut the vege and mushroom into smaller pieces. Then offered it to her, she pursed her lip still, and looked the other way.

We told her, “Zara, you try first, mummy cut up everything smaller already“.
The lips are pursed, head to one side.
“Zara, please. You try first”
Still the lips are pursed, but she looked at me
“Zara, really, you look at the spoon, every thing small small already”
Lips still pursed, but she looked at the spoon
“See, mummy didn’t bluff you, you try first. Please”
Opened her mouth, took the porridge.

Aaah, she finally accepted the spoon. We continued to feed her, and she continued to eat it, until she was full, she started shaking her head to indicate she didn’t want any more.

So, our little critic has come out with her own way of giving different ratings to her food:
4 star : eat, and eat, and eat — food is really good, right consistency for me, thumbs up to the chef
3 star : eat, eat again, then turned head, pursed lip — food is good, but not right consistency for me (like this case), please do some thing to correct it.
2 star : eat for a while, then shake head — food is bearable, but enough is enough.
1 star : 1st bite already shake head — I hate this please feed this to the cat

Although I’m a born Catholic, I’m never the real pious type. I went to the church because my parents made me go with them every Sunday. In fact, the last time I went to church for a mass, it was my wedding service, 7 years ago (My dad always tells me, my mum is turning in her grave because all her daughters have stopped going to church once they got married).

However, I DO believe in God, I try to do things/behave according to His teaching (at least I think I am). Every night, I will join my hands, and say a short ittle prayer before I go to sleep, my prayer goes something like this.

“Thanks for everything.
Please continue to let Zara be strong and healthy;
Protect her from any harm or danger (don’t let her fall, don’t let any bad people come close to her, don’t let her touch accidentally or intentionally any thing dangerous);
Guide me to be a better mother (don’t let me swear in front of her, don’t make me lose my temper with her, be patient with her, provide me with the wisdom to bring her up)”

And then, I’ll ask St Anne (as She’d done during my pregnancy).
“Please continue to guard over Zara”

I have nothing to ask for myself, because if Zara continues to be strong and healthy, and away from harm, I’m already most blessed.

This Tag is easier, it’s from YL :

List 10 things that bring you a moment of joy. Tag 5 friends to do the same.

Simple things bring me joy, and I count my blessing everyday, especially when I see Zara lie next to me. Still (to complete this tag) here they are :

1. Waking up with Zara next to me
2. Knowing I’d given birth to a healthy Zara, when I see her
3. Sniffing Zara (some how, she smells like a candy)
4. Getting a hug or kiss from Zara, or having her head lean on me
5. Seeing Zara enjoy herself
6. Being close to nature (waterfalls, beach, mountains, woods)
7. Driving along a scenic route in US with a Never Lost GPS
8. Visiting a wet or street market in a foreign country
9. Enjoying a good meal at my own pace (now it has become a rare luxury, as Daddy & I always have to eat fast, so that we can take turns to look after Zara)
10. Cooking a good meal, and seeing friends or Zara enjoying it

And I’m going to tag :
1) Seng Kor (what brings you joy besides …..)
2) Dinah
3) Mei
4) Jasmine
5) Jefferene

Sue, I’ll give you a pass on this. I know being pregnant, you need the rest. 😛
Egghead, you are busy preparing for the bloggers’ meet, I also give you a pass. *curtsy*

I have waited 6years to have Zara (I’ll blog about the ‘wait’ another time), when we knew she was coming (and ‘staying’), we started the shopping spree, clothes, toys, necessities and non-necessities, to prepare for her arrival. The shopping intensified after she was born, and it’s still a weekly event.

Here are some of the good buys that we’d made, and I’ll recommend them if you are shopping around for such items. My views are bias, determined by Zara’s willingness to ‘use’ it, its usability (by us) and Zara’s liking for the item (nobody pays me to do this).

1) Baby Bjorn Baby Carrier/Sling:

This was a gift from my sister, being very generous, she bought one of the best in the market. I must say it’s worth it, and if I would have to buy it (and pay for it with discount), I would get this same one as well.

Zara started being carried around the Baby Bjorn when she was a week old. It’s very comfortable for Zara, as well as for whoever is carrying her. Today, when we go to the wet market or for walks (recently to the zoo), we carry her in this carrier, and she always enjoys it (even if she’s in it for a long time).

Suitable for new born up till the baby reaches 10Kg. Babies are carried face in initially and then face out when they can support their head.

If you are looking for a baby carrier, get this (if you have the budget), and if not, try to get a good one. Cheap carrier causes discomfort to both the baby and the person carrying the baby and not to mention the potential danger (of the baby slipping out of the carrier).

2) Tripp Trapp The Chair that grows with the child

I was attracted by the design of the chair when I first saw it in Singapore. Bebehaus in KL carries it, and it’s cheaper here too.

The seat and the foot rest is adjustable, so it grows with the child, later, it can be converted to a proper adult chair. It comes in beautiful colours and pretty cushions.

We like the chair because it allows Zara to join us at meal times at the dining table (the chair is w/out a tray, so it can be pushed very close to the table). She normally can sit through the whole meal on this chair (we can’t do it in other chairs at restaurants, she gets restless half way through). I believe it’s because her feet are comfortably rested on the foot rest, and if she wanted to stand up she can as well (if the chair is adjusted properly, the baby can stand up, but won’t be able to climb out of the chair).

This is the most expensive item we got for Zara by far, but we always look at it as an investment, since she can use this chair for many years to come (support up till ~145kg), and it’ll be our ‘kah-chong’ (??/dowry) to her.

3) Lamaze Freddie The Firefly Plush Toy

The Dragonfly (it says it’s a firefly, but it looks more like a dragonfly to me) has provided a lot of play hours and fun to Zara. Starting from her 3rd months, this was the toy that we took for shopping trips and dinners since it keeps her happily occupied. She doesn’t seem to get tired with it (maybe very soon, she will).

4) Graco Infant Carrier cum Car Seat

It can be any brand, but I think an infant Carrier is much better than immediately getting a car seat. Many a times, Zara fell asleep in the car when we were on our way to lunch or dinner or to visit friends/relatives, all we need is just to bring the carrier down. We didn’t have to interrupt her sleep, and she has a comfortable place to sleep on.

Occasionally, we even put her in the carrier to rock her to sleep if she has problem getting to sleep.

5) Baby, Boo! (a photobook)

Zara started appreciating books and giving kisses after we exposed her to this book.

The phrases in the book are simple, and comes with baby photos. This is still one of her favourite books.

And here are the ones which I think are bad buys, and if you are thinking of buying, make sure your little one really likes it or you will use it on her (even if she/he doesnt’ like it) before getting it.

**disclaimer: I have nothing against these products, but they are not something my little girl likes; and this may be just her preference which is not shared by others.

1) Baby Einstein DVDs

Much hyped about program developed by Disney. Some titles can be introduced to new borns. An original DVD costs ~RM90/copy, I got the entire set of 18 DVDs from eBay for ~RM200 including postage (I think they must be pirated).

The program teaches baby different body parts, animals, colours etc using story board method (a bit like flash cards), with very soothing (too soothing) classical music played at the back ground.

Maybe Zara isn’t Einstein. She is not interested in any of them, she’ll be yawning (sometimes even falling asleep half way), or playing with her toys when we put this on for her. She only likes 1 section of the Old Mc Donald disc (~3mins out of the 18x30min= 540mins total DVDs play time, only ~0.5% utilisation) where the song Old Mc Donald is sung.

2) Leap Frog Baby Tad

I got this for Zara after she recovered from her 2 days fever to cheer her up. She showed no interest at all (and still show little interest). It plays 6 nursery rhymes, and I think I could get about 10 original nursery rhyme CDs with the price I paid for this green fella.

3) Molto Baby Chair

Molto is a company that manufacture toys in Spain. The baby chair from them looks and feels like a toy too. Zara is constantly complaining (and want to get out of it) when she’s placed in the chair during meal times.

It has an easy to install but difficult to remove tray, making quick exit for the child (with the help of an adult) difficult. When fixed on a dining chair, it does not stay on well and the height adjustment very ‘fah hok’ (??/flimsy).

We bought this first, then regretted it, and bought the Tripp Trapp. Now, this is used in my brother’s house for her weekday (while I’m at work) feeding. My maid said, most of the time, few minutes into a meal, Zara would be fretting, and she’ll end up standing or just sitting on the floor eating.

4) All the crib shoes I bought (before Zara’s arrival)

None of them have been or will be worn. When she hasn’t started walking, she’s left bare footed most of the time; if we go out to an airconditioned place, I put on a pair of socks for her instead.

Now she’s started to walk, it’ll be too flimsy to support her weight, and too slippery for her to walk around with.

So these pretty little crib shoes are just lying in the cupboard, waiting to be given away on the next full moon invitation I get (kekeke).

5) All the long sleeves dresses, blouses, cardigan I bought (before Zara’s arrival)

We always thought babies should be protected from cold (from all the angmoh child care websites and books), not knowing Malaysia’s weather is never THAT cold. Zara wore one of the long sleeve cute little blouse on the first night she was home (from hospital) in a fan room (so worried air con would be too cold for her); next morning, she had heat rash all over her back, no thanks to the kiasi parents.

Together with the pretty little crib shoes, waiting to be given away on the next full moon invitation I get (kekeke again).

Phew, luckily not that many regret buys. I try to control my spending now, and only buy things necessary (only if I’m not hit with the next too-good-a-bargain-and-hard-to-resist sales). Hytex Warehouse sales, lets see if I can buy any will-regret-after-paying things.