Birth
Our 2nd daugther was born on 28th Dec evening.

I opted for elective induction and admitted in the morning to be induced. Dr inserted a pill into the cervix to start things off and later put me on drips. I only got a little contraction, I could still read, listen to music, talk to Daddy gaily.

When the drip dosage was increased to 100%, my cervix was barely 2 cm opened, even though the contraction pain started to become unberable. I wanted to go without pain relief for as long as I can but after 1 1/2hr, I started using the (entonox) gas. Then the midwife suggested that I go with pain killer since I got very tense every time the contraction started which would affect the cervix dilation. After talking to Daddy, I opted for Pethidine, just like I did with Zara’s birth.

The minute Pethidine was injected, I started relaxing and the cervix started to dilate. We were disturbed by baby’s heart beat though. Every time when a contraction started, her heart beat went down, after the contraction, the heart beat recovered. Dr was called and he told us that it may be due to 1) baby was compressed in the birth canal or 2) baby’s umblical cord was around her neck. The latter could be life threatening. He told us we could either opt for emergency c-sect for safest bet, but looking from the way things are progressing, he told us to hang a little bit longer. We were worried, but trusted his judgement.

Soon after that, I could feel the urge to push (that’s why I didn’t want to go for epidural since it will numb all such sensation). Midwife checked me and found that baby’s head was already crowning. Every thing started to happen, within minutes, Dr was back in the labour room, gave me an episiotomy, and the delivery began. This round, no help needed, baby just got pushed out with one push.

The minute I heard her cry, all pain was forgotten, although I still felt a bit high and dizzy from Pethidine, the rush of joy was overwhelming.

The little girl was 2.91Kg (Zara was 3.39Kg), and her height was 51.5cm (Zara was 50.5cm).

The room we spent 12hrs in awaiting for the birth of our 2nd daugther

Baby
I worried too much. When I was pregnant, I was constantly worried that I will not love baby as much as I do with Zara. I just found new capicity to love her. How can you not love your own flesh and blood?

Baby is good, she’s more patient than Zara and even when she’s hungry, she’ll cry a little and wait for me to feed her (Zara used to cry and turn black every time we were a bit too ‘slow’).

She sleeps a lot still, but when she’s awake, she likes to look around, checking us out. She was admitted back to the hospital for jaundice for 2 nights and now she’s back home coping well.

We still call her baby or mei-mei (Chinese : Small sister) since we haven’t decided on the name yet. 🙁

Zara
Zara is doing very well as a jie-jie (Chinese: Big sister). We gave her a set of nice markers as a present from baby and also bought her a baloon when she came visiting, telling her she’s now jie-jie to baby and mummy’s assistant. She’s very proud of her new titles.

The first few days, she cried when baby cried for milk. She didn’t want the Confinement Lady (CL) to handle mei-mei when mei-mei cried but insisted that “Mummy, sayang (Malay : pat) mei-mei. Don’t want aunty (CL) sayang.” She constantly wants to hug and stroke her mei-mei but unfortunately, she contracted chicken pox (probably from visiting mei-mei in the peadiatric ward) after mei-mei was discharged and we told her not to be too close to mei-mei for the time being.

Confinement Lady
What’s wrong with these people? They think so highly of themselves that they don’t wash dishes, do house work or help out with the older kids even when they are just siting around doing nothing.

I’m barely able to stand her, and Daddy is very tempted to get rid of her. She’s more like a cook instead of a CL. Since I’m 100% breastfeeding, and I like to be a bit hands on (like cleaning baby’s poo or topping and tailing baby) she doesn’t have much to do.

Baby sleeps with me in the night, and when I naps. I wake up to feed her while the CL sleeps away. She cooks for me 3 meals a day, washes baby’s clothes, bathes baby and that’s about all she does. She doesn’t help with Zara at all, nor anything else in the house. She sleeps when I sleeps (and sometimes before), and when Zara watches her VCDs/DVDs, she watches with Zara(but not to care for Zara, even small little things like giving Zara snacks or taking a drink for Zara from the fridge, CL will shout for Tuyam to do it).

The only good thing that came out of this is she knows what I should and should not eat and make sure whatever I take help with milk production. With Zara (without a CL), my milk came on day 5. With baby, my milk came on day 4 and supply is pretty good.

Me
I’m doing fine but a bit tired. 2 kids vs 1 is very different.

When baby is feeding and Zara needs attention, I have to be tactful, or still give Zara the attention by talking to her or doing things with her with my free hand. I still try to spend as much time as I can with Zara so that she doesn’t feel I’m neglecting her.

When baby is alert, I try to talk to her and carry her around to show her the house or look at new things.

I only get to rest when both of them are sleeping. Luckily, I can breastfeed while lying down, so in the night when baby wakes up for her feed, I just latch her on and continue to sleep while she feeds.

I’m not sure what is wrong with blogger but have been trying to post more photos but not able to after the hospital shot.. *sigh* May not be able to update or read blogs as frequently for now until things are more settled.

We had very bad experience with our first confinement lady (CL) when we had Zara. Being extremely unhygenic (picked nose then applied diaper cream on Zara; dipped a spoon into her mouth to taste her own cooking and then using the same spoon to stir the broth later), totally non supportive of my breast feeding plan (when Zara cried because of hunger, she started chanting, “aiyo, girl girl ah, mummy naughty ah, don’t let you drink powder milk ah“, as though I wasn’t already stressed enough) and rough (the thumping sound she made when she burped Zara was heart breaking); she got the boot the 2nd day. I took care of Zara on my own (no MIL to offer help, didn’t trust maid with Zara) with a few visits from the hospital nurse to teach me how to bath and care for Zara.

We are trying our luck the 2nd time this round. Since I only started looking for one after I got my amnio result (into 5th month), we were not left with many choices (better ones were already hired). I haven’t met the CL, don’t know what she looks like, how she is.

Daddy is extremely skeptical about leaving baby at night with the CL alone in a room for that one month. Since I’m going to breast feed anyway, we plan to have the CL sleep with me in our room, while Daddy takes the guest’s room.

The thing is where will the CL sleep? On our queen size bed with me? Err.. I don’t think I want that. On Zara’s bed? Hah, here is what Zara said when we tried to ‘negotiate’ with her.
Me : “Zara let Aunty sleep on your bed, then Zara sleep with mummy on mummy’s bed ok? At night, mummy can hug hug you to sleep (to ‘motivate’ her)”
Zara : “Zara’s bed is Zara’s. Aunty sleep downstairs on the sofa.”
Me : “There are lots of bugs downstairs at night.”
Zara : *pointing to the guest’s room* “Aunty sleep in the other room.”
Me : “Daddy is sleeping there already… We changed the mattress, bed sheets on your bed, then Zara let Aunty sleep on your bed can or not?”
Zara : “Nooo! This is special bed *pointing to her bed*, only Zara can sleep here. Nobody can sleep” (and I was worried she won’t settle in her own bed, when we moved her from her cot to the bed)
Me : “Then where will aunty sleep?”
Zara : *pointed to the floor in our room* “Sleep there then.”

So, here is our plan, we’ll be setting up another single bed in our room near the cot, and have the CL sleep there for that month.

Have a look at the room now, it’ll turn into a dorm when the other bed is moved in!

My stomach is extremely huge, I have slightly more than 3 more weeks to go.

Resting is no longer possible. Laying on the right or left no longer feel comfortable. Sitting hurt my back. Standing tires my calves. I wake up middle of the night with eyes wide opened, trying hard to go back to sleep.

Baby is still active although with not much space for movement, we can see the tremors she creates when she moves, skin stretching before our eyes.

I’d sorted out all the necessities for the arrival of the baby :
1) ordered my confinement herbs and herbal wine from my Chinese Dr.
2) confirmed with friend’s mum who will be supplying me with home brewed rice wine.
3) signed up with Stemlife for baby’s cord blood banking
4) bought a few new pieces of clothing to welcome baby’s arrival (the rest will be wearing her jie-jie’s clothes)
5) checked that we have enough bottles/milk storage bag to store breast milk if I need to pump out
6) bought new Dr Brown bottles for her during occasions where I cannot breast feed directly
7) rearranged the furniture in the room to accommodate the cot (Daddy has yet to raise the cot and fixed its railing)

And yesterday, I’d even packed my bag for my hospital stay. So now, I’m just waiting for baby’s arrival.

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On the other hand, Zara has been bugging us to bring her to the beach, to Morib, to Penang, to Cowboy Town. We had to explain to her I’m too big to be traveling now, and we have to wait for Mei-Mei’s (Chinese : Little sister) arrival before we can travel again.

So over the weekend, besides bringing her to the mall, we let her play in her wading pool. She was very very happy, since her last dip was actually in Phuket, quite a while back.

Little Miss Engineer has been mixing too much with her cousin Norman and playing a lot of his toys when she’s stationed there at my sis’ place.

She gets very excited as well when Daddy has to do some DIY stuff at home, she calls her Daddy, “Bob The Builder” (and other names, which I’ll talk about it later); and herself, “Little Bob The Builder”; and starts singing the Bob The Builder Song when Daddy takes out his tool box.

She knows the name of some of the tools used like hammer, screw driver, spanner, screw, saw; and always keen in lending a hand to Daddy when he has to work on something at home.

‘Drilling’ my dad’s table; All geared up to be Bob The Builder; Working on her own ‘project’; Helping Daddy to put up the storage box for her toys.

My sis’ maid was so curious that I allow her to play with such toys and even thinking of getting a tool set for her for Christmas. This is an exploring stage for her, so I just let her play with whatever toys that interest her, be it boys’ or girls’.

That reminds me, I have to start doing some baking, to expose her to some of the girlish’ activities.

I have slightly more than a month to go before No. 2 arrives. There are 2 things which I’m cracking my head with.

1st : No. 2’s name
Daddy and I can’t decide on a name for No.2. We wanted a two syllables name which starts with Z and ends with A. That doesn’t leave us much choice. Daddy doesn’t like my choice of names, and I don’t like his choices.

Anybody has any names to recommend?

(Some jokers have suggested Zebra. Well, even if they named their kids Hippo or Oinky, we still won’t name ours Zebra)

2nd : What are we to do with Zara when I have to be in the hospital to have the baby?
When Zara was born, Daddy was in the hospital with me the 2nights I stayed there. Now, Zara has never slept without either one of us at her side. I’m not sure what we are going to do when I have to be admitted this time.

1) Have Daddy stay at home with her, so I’ll be alone in the hospital?
2) Have her stay with us in the hospital together?

We asked her if she would be ok to sleep at home with Kakak when mummy goes to the hospital. She said, “Cannot. I want to sleep with mummy only.”
The only person she’s willing to sleep with without mummy is Sam, her favourite jie-jie. She said, “Can sleep with Sam jiejie, mummy stay in hospital.”

For those who have two kids, what do you do with no. 1 when you were in the hospital giving birth to no. 2?

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Zara is getting more and more clingy even with Tuyam back. They can play together, Tuyam can feed and change her; but when it comes to nap time, Zara would be whining for me, “I want mummy to sleep with Zara.”

When it’s time for her evening bath, and if Daddy wanted to bath her, she would say, “Don’t want Daddy. Want mummy do only. Mummy do, mummy do.” followed by crying if we don’t oblidge.

At night, only I can sleep next to her. If Daddy stayed on too long at her side after saying good night to her, she would say, “Daddy sleep there (pointing to Daddy’s side of the bed).” or “Daddy go down (from my bed)” If Daddy lied on her bed.

Yesterday, when Daddy got her things ready and wanted to brush her teeth (most days I do the brushing), she told Daddy, “Daddy brush la. Use Zara’s toothpaste, use Zara’s tooth brush. Ok? Daddy brush la, use Zara’s water to rinse mouth. Zara don’t want”.

I wonder how I will be able to cope with a clingy 2 year old, and a new baby.

We have been planning for Zara’s birthday party for a while, and when we asked her what she wanted to do for her birthday, she recalled my friend’s daughter’s 1yr old birthday party in the hotel and she said, “Like mummy’s friend, party in hotel. Got clown one. Got many balloons one.”
We were kiam siap (Chinese: Stingy). We did the finances, and thought it would have been better to keep the money saved (from having the party in a hotel or restaurant) in the bank for her. Instead, we have a small party at home, invited just our immediate family members. None the less, it was fun, and the food was good.

The guests : My friend’s kids’ Jensen and Yen Mae, who dropped by in the afternoon to drop off their presents for Zara. Eldest sis’ daughter, Tasha. Youngest sis’ son, the shy Norman.

We had Nasi Lemak for dinner, prepared by Tuyam and my sis’ maid KC. Daddy said this can beat any best nasi lemak in town, I would have to agree with him. It’s absolutely delicious. Zara loved it as well, although all she took was nasi lemak with ikan bilis (Malay : little fish or anchovies) and fried chicken.

I ordered a cake from A Piece of Cake, with Zara specifying the design, “Want got cow girl one. Got pony one. Want dog dog” This is the cake that comes with a cow girl riding on her pony with her pet dog.

The beautiful and yummy-licious cake; The kids were all waiting to attack the cow girl and the pony while Zara munched away the candies on the cake; Zara busy stuffing herself with the sugar beads and stars on the cake; The cow girl and the pony after the kids’ attack.

For the album : Our family; My dad with all his grand children; With my in-laws; Zara with her cousins

A very happy birthday girl: She loved the part where every body sang Happy Birthday to her; she was scared of the fire from the candle so she stood far away from them while trying to blow them out, and eventually just shouted for help.

She had a good time and slept only at 12am, 2hrs passed her bed time.

Almost a week has passed since our maid has gone home.

We’re using my sis’ Indonesian maid, KC. Our initial plan was to have her take care of Zara and at the same time help out with household chores. However, Zara totally didn’t want KC to handle her. I think the reason is KC didn’t speak English, and Zara has no way of communicating with her (Tuyam is able to communicate with Zara with her limited broken English). She doesn’t even want KC to sit near her while she watched her TV shows.

She only wanted my sis’ Filipino maid, Elizabeth. Kept sticking to her and every time KC goes near her, she’ll be shouting, “Don’t want kakak. Aunty Aunty (calling for Elizabeth), come!”

There’s lots of interruptions for me while working at my sis’ place. Sometimes when Elizabeth needs to cook or clean the house, Zara will be coming to me, asking me to play with her; Or running to me for help when KC tries to give her some water or play with her.

Oh boy, tough for me.

Why is it always the wife who has to endure this while the husband continues with his usual routine when the domestic helper is not around? I’ll wait to see if Daddy is going to help out during the weekend, or he’s still going to enjoy his weekend like he usually does, in front of his newspapers, ‘making love’ to his amplifier, and working on his hobby.

World War Three will erupt if he thinks I’ll have to do all the work, while it’s status quo for him!

No Maid
Tuyam has gone home to Indonesia for a month for her Raya holidays. Oh boy, this mummy with big stomach has to take care of Zara most of the time.

I’m having my sister’s maids to help out in caring for Zara (and I work from my sis’ place), but since Zara is still not quite used to them, she keeps coming to me for things and for a cuddle.

28 more days to go before the maid comes home (if she did come back).

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New Phrases
Zara is using words and phrases she learns either from the TV or from us. Here are some new ones.

Me : “Zara did you touch Rusty (our cat) just now?”
Zara : “No way! Zara didn’t touch Rusty.”

In the car,
Zara : “Mummy, Zara want eat pop corn”
Me : “Mummy forgot to bring.”
Zara : “Say Sorry girl girl (sometimes we call her girl girl).”
Me : “……. Ok. Sorry girl girl, mummy forgot.”

Me : “Mummy loves Zara so much”
Zara : “How much?”
Me : “….. Very much.”

While swimming,
Daddy : “Wow, Zara can float now!”
Zara : “Pefect!”

After dinner,
Daddy : “Good girl, you finish your dinner.”
Zara : *grinned* “Excellent.”

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Yakking
On days when she’s in the mood, she yaks non-stop. Here is a conversation taken yesterday when she was telling my nephews what she was going to do to get ready for bed:
“Mummy change this baju (Malay : clothes) for Zara”
“Dirty already mummy.”
“Must take off and Zara put in the laundry bag”
“Then kakak will wash wash the baju with the hands.”
“Zara brush teeth, and don’t let the water run (the latter phrase is from Barney)“
“Then change Pajamas”
“Then mummy spray rose water on the face (when I apply my skin care in the night, I spray some rose water for her as well).”
“Zara smell so nice”
“Then read books, then bed time.”
She was saying this without pausing for a reply or response from us. My sis Filipino maid said she talked like an old lady.

Just when I thought Zara is getting used to her bed, we had this conversation yesterday during bed time.

Zara : *just out of the blue* “Kakak put the cot away already.”
Me : “No, Daddy put the cot away, in the other room.”
Zara : *pointing to her bed* “Mummy, throw the bed away”
Me : *shocked!* “Why?”
Zara : “The bed so slippery” (so untrue, but I guess she’s just coming out with excuse)
Me : “No, the bed is not slippery.”
Zara : “The cot is better. Throw the bed away. Zara want the cot.”
Me : “But Zara is already a jiejie (Chinese : Big sister). Cot is for babies, Zara is not a baby, but a jiejie now”.
Zara : “…. ”
Zara : “Mummy, Zara want go downstairs.”
Me : “It’s bed time, why does Zara want to go downstairs.”
Zara : “Zara sleep downstairs.”
Me : “Downstairs got mosquitos and lizards at night, and Zara will be lonely if Zara sleep downstairs alone.”
Zara : *tears started rolling down* “Zara don’t yike (like) the bed”
Me : “Zara sleep on mummy’s bed then, mummy sleep on Zara’s bed. Ok?”
Zara : “Zara want mummy hug hug to sleep.”
Me : “Ok, Zara sleep together with mummy then”

So she slept on my side of the bed.

Saturday was the big day for Zara to relocate from her cot to her single bed. She calls it her ‘jie-jie (Chinese : big sister) bed’.

We got her involved in ‘helping’ Daddy to install the bed, pretending to be ‘Bob The Builder’.

Upon completing the installation, we saw a hint of disappointment in Zara. We asked her, “Do you like your bed?”. She said, “Don’t yike (like).”

When she woke up from her afternoon nap, she cried and wailed, asking me to hold her for almost 30mins. When we asked her what happened, she said, “Zara so yoneyee (lonely)” and then later, “Got bad dreams”. I wonder if the new bed gota do with this.

In the evening, after all the bedsheets and bed guards have be put up, she seems more interested in her bed. I told her she can still roll over to sleep with me if she wanted, and that I can still hold her hands in the night when she goes to sleep (something she likes).

However, the last 2 nights, she didn’t sleep very well, waking up in the middle of the night, and wanted me to cuddle her. Daddy said maybe she miss the scent of her old bed.

I hope she gets use it to real soon.