Comments on: The Worst A Mum Can Do

By: ShareKhoo

ShareKhoo — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 01:27:52 +0000

Please cease testing your child in the first place, unless you want to kill her joy for learning.

It is the journey that matters and if it is a happy one, rest assured that the results will match. (And you don’t have to keep tabs on it; release both yourself and herself.)

The moment you are interacting with your child negatively, you are drawing a barrier between both of yourselves, not being at one, not understanding her at all. (And she will be absorbing your attitude, good or bad.)

By: Jenn

Jenn — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 06:01:30 +0000

You are one gutsy lady to admit to this not just to yourself, to Zara but to the whole blogosphere! Every mommy has her monster moment. It comes from the worry of your child being left behind + stress from work (professional or at home) + not knowing what the heck you’re supposed to do. I had that same EXACT episode with Raeven when she was almost four, raising my voice when her attention waned because words she just would not read the words I knew she already knew how to read. After that, my God, the guilt killed me and like you, I apologised, sobbed and she also cried and told me she was afraid of me. Really when you think about it, not worth it. And u know what? It will happen again because we are all imperfect.

The most important thing I learnt is that you need to go to your child after the episode, and talk to her. Apologise if you’re wrong, let her know “the angry goes away” and that she was perfectly right to be scared, and you were perfectly wrong to have lost your head. These things happen but we model reconciliation and forgiveness after, which I think is even more important than learning to read.

Rae is almost six now. She’s in an American kindy and reads at 2.8 level, which means she reads as well as an almost-third grader, almost three times her capability. She reads comics on her own now, websites and her favorite reading – atlases and encyclopaedias!

1) she WILL learn to read and will be marvelous at it as long as you model and encourage a love for reading

2) every bad situation is a teaching opportunity for yourself and your child – she will see how YOU deal with it, and that will be how she deals with it

Silver lining! You are a terrific mom and you know it!

By: Aishah

Aishah — Sat, 29 Mar 2008 22:18:06 +0000

I also have my bad mummy moments and feel very guilty afterwards. Then I remember what Tyne Daly’s character in “Judging Amy” once said about being a parent – “You just try to do better the next day”.

By: michelle

michelle — Sat, 29 Mar 2008 15:59:22 +0000

I have one of those days too with my son Tim. When I teach him, his mind wonders off that make me mad.

By: sasha

sasha — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 01:45:25 +0000

happen before to me. and i guess happened to other ppl also. dun feel bad la..sometimes i felt like throwing the books away but then think think…..forget it. he’ll get it when he’s ready and when he is in the mood. then i pergi tidur.. no energy edi

By: Rina

Rina — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 01:25:50 +0000

it happens to me a lot to now. I took the girls for a easter party last sunday, and for no reason i got mad with harvynna and was scolding her for the smallest things. I feel so bad

By: jacss

jacss — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 06:43:12 +0000

i guess when the bloood is boiling hot up in the head, mostly likely is we aren’t sure what we’re doing….even when we r parents!!
but we all learn…and am sure u had too! zara will udrstd one day!
cheer up!!

By: huisia

huisia — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 23:46:12 +0000

i just feel like it’s so hard for a little girl to understand your phonic sounds 🙂

By: grace supang

grace supang — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 15:11:39 +0000

oh my goodness… when i stayed with my cousin’s before, my cousin’s wife which i refer her as my cousin in law, does that to their 5 year old daughter too. she keep on asking her to repeat what she said and when the poor girl cant, she shouted on top of her lung asking her to do it again and scolding her like anything. I really pity my niece. she kept on sobbing. I knw being a mother is hard. And i still remember i experienced that with my mum when i was little. And boy, how i hated it when she scream right on my face.

By: WMD

WMD — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 09:23:08 +0000

I said those exact same words that you said to Zara before as RE was acting like Zara with the I don’t knows and looking at my face instead of the book. I did it a few times and now i have learnt to handle such situation better. It is still a learning process for me to handle my anger/frustrations.